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01-23-2016, 04:55 AM
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#1
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Japan
Posts: 1,162
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For you... The best duet I've EVER done :)
So just recently, I got an invite From Dani (better known as Raven) to do a duet with her. I was thrilled, and shit scared at the same time, because she is by far the best singer I know. So anyways, she showed me this piano track a friend did for her, and asked me if it inspired me.
It did, so I started the lyrics right away.. within minutes, the chorus and first verse was done, and she basically wrote the rest. And then we sang. Hands down, that was the best experience I've ever had.. singing with her like that.
We live a world apart, so it was all done by sharing files back and forth, But holy mac, can she ever sing! I had to up my game quite a few notches, just to keep up with her LOL
I didn't do the final mix, so I don't have much control over that, but how do you like them apples?
https://soundcloud.com/g4gregoire/for-you
Constructive critics most welcome
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01-23-2016, 08:53 PM
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#2
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: May 2014
Location: California
Posts: 835
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Wow !!!!
This is really good !!!
Both Raven and yourself put it out there !!!
Impressive track...........great job
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01-23-2016, 09:42 PM
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#3
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 5,207
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Truly constructive, I want to add, before this seems to negative, but I have some bullet points:
- avoid scooping the start of words, and open your throat to allow the air through for the volume you are singing at. IMO you don't need to sing some phrases as loud as they are, but if you are you need to create a relaxed space in your throat for steady air movement, this will get rid of the roughth starts. This applies to both singers but male voice mostly.
- the above issue is causing vocal chord distortion on loud sustained notes on both vocalists, this is harmful for you and also irritating to listen to. (3:40)
- I found the panned delays cheezy, especially the first ones, 'fire', 'candle'
- 'Bathing my resting place' is hard to understand, partly because of the syllable stress of bathing. Sounds like '(quiet)ba- ving on my resting play', the 'ss' of place is not audible. I think Bay syllable on the downbeat for an eighth note, thing-my on & + ah sixteenth notes would be far more natural and comprehensible.
- piano is thin sounding and also overly panned. I'm curious how it was mic'd. The notes around middle C sound unnatural especially.
- over all I think things are overcompressed. There is a multiband or something pumping audibly, for e.g. 2:40 'you-ohohohoh'. The strings and piano stereo image keeps changing, this is indicative of an overzealous stereo compressor reacting to peaks separately on the two channels at high speed.
Sorry to be so verbose, I really genuinely mean this to help you in your next project, if not this one!
Lyrics are classic, simple, catchy. I could imagine hearing this ballad on the country music channel, I've certainly heard similar songs that had terrible lyrics compared to their production quality, so you're ahead of the game there.
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01-23-2016, 10:37 PM
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#4
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Santa Cruz, Ca
Posts: 480
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Duet
Fantastic!!!
__________________
Reaper, Intel i7 machine with 24 gigs of ram, Win 7 , M-Audio FW 410, Alesis i02, i7 Laptop w Win 8.1, Fender Concert 2, Bugera V22, Fender Showman(Red Knob) Ibanez Artist335, Strat, Ibanez Les Paul, Epiphone Sheraton, ETC
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01-23-2016, 11:06 PM
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#5
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Japan
Posts: 1,162
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BCF1
Wow !!!!
This is really good !!!
Both Raven and yourself put it out there !!!
Impressive track...........great job
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Thanks man! and yeah, we went at it pretty hard LOL We're both fans of each-other, so it was a lot of fun
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01-23-2016, 11:07 PM
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#6
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Japan
Posts: 1,162
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Quote:
Originally Posted by donchilcott
Fantastic!!!
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Thanks!
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01-23-2016, 11:22 PM
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#7
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Japan
Posts: 1,162
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fergler
Truly constructive, I want to add, before this seems to negative, but I have some bullet points:
- avoid scooping the start of words, and open your throat to allow the air through for the volume you are singing at. IMO you don't need to sing some phrases as loud as they are, but if you are you need to create a relaxed space in your throat for steady air movement, this will get rid of the roughth starts. This applies to both singers but male voice mostly.
- the above issue is causing vocal chord distortion on loud sustained notes on both vocalists, this is harmful for you and also irritating to listen to. (3:40)
- I found the panned delays cheezy, especially the first ones, 'fire', 'candle'
- 'Bathing my resting place' is hard to understand, partly because of the syllable stress of bathing. Sounds like '(quiet)ba- ving on my resting play', the 'ss' of place is not audible. I think Bay syllable on the downbeat for an eighth note, thing-my on & + ah sixteenth notes would be far more natural and comprehensible.
- piano is thin sounding and also overly panned. I'm curious how it was mic'd. The notes around middle C sound unnatural especially.
- over all I think things are overcompressed. There is a multiband or something pumping audibly, for e.g. 2:40 'you-ohohohoh'. The strings and piano stereo image keeps changing, this is indicative of an overzealous stereo compressor reacting to peaks separately on the two channels at high speed.
Sorry to be so verbose, I really genuinely mean this to help you in your next project, if not this one!
Lyrics are classic, simple, catchy. I could imagine hearing this ballad on the country music channel, I've certainly heard similar songs that had terrible lyrics compared to their production quality, so you're ahead of the game there.
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Thanks man, and I know you always mean to help, I've read your critics quite often.. and you only critic things that are worthy of being criticized LOL
For the mixing,part, Lee didn't have access to the stems for the back track.. So he did what he could with what he had, and he did well in the circumstances...
The missing esses is a sloppy mixing edit, I'll hit his fingers.. And maybe the de-esser is a hair too strong, which explains the weird "TH".
As for our singing techniques... thanks, but you know... I'm a 40 years old rock singer, and I have pretty bad habits that are hard to kick. It's good that someone critics my technique though, because it's not by saying that I have a nice voice that I'll improve.... I'll keep on working on that
I don't think I can get rid of the grit when I go at it though, it's been there forever... Annnnnnnnnd people seem to like it when I sing rock
country channel, ouch ! But yeah, it does sound "commercial", I guess
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01-24-2016, 05:59 AM
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#8
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,195
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Great singing as always, but this time you stepped up quite a bit.
I can guess singing with real good singer makes you do better.
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01-24-2016, 07:55 AM
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#9
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Japan
Posts: 1,162
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msundh
Great singing as always, but this time you stepped up quite a bit.
I can guess singing with real good singer makes you do better.
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Yup, Dani is something else... and indeed, you DO learn a lot by jamming with people who are leaps and bounds better than you are
Thanks for the nice words man
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01-24-2016, 08:34 AM
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#10
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Norway
Posts: 7,318
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Quote:
Originally Posted by g4greg
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I'm really impressed.
Yes, there is room for improvement,
but it's a lot of quality, integrity and musicality here.
You have both have voices that make me listen,
and in fact, I played it a second time.
Good instrumentation.
In the crescendo I'd wish the voices would go in different directions in some way or the other.
Thanks for sharing!
__________________
Reaper x64, win 11
Composer, text-writer, producer
Bandcamp
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01-24-2016, 11:09 AM
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#11
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,580
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Enjoyed this piece quite a bit. Raven's singing is incredible, and I love your tone. I think you probably had a really good time with this. It must have been an exciting uplifting experience.
Last edited by smueske; 01-25-2016 at 12:23 PM.
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01-26-2016, 11:43 PM
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#12
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,696
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first of all there is some very good delivery in the vocals.. very impressive.
my impression overall, is that there is too many variations in the articulations, cadence and note slurs etc.. to have the harmonies stacked on top of each other in the panning.
They need some sort of space so I can appreciate the seperate performances.. whether its with panning, or frequencies.. (I think panning)
I'm not thinking wide panning, just something that gives a bit of seperation
It gets congested a bit IMO
but there is excellent vocals here
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01-27-2016, 05:18 AM
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#13
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Japan
Posts: 1,162
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smueske
Enjoyed this piece quite a bit. Raven's singing is incredible, and I love your tone. I think you probably had a really good time with this. It must have been an exciting uplifting experience.
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Thanks and yeah, it's an experiencs we would like to repeat
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01-27-2016, 05:21 AM
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#14
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Japan
Posts: 1,162
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thequietroom
first of all there is some very good delivery in the vocals.. very impressive.
my impression overall, is that there is too many variations in the articulations, cadence and note slurs etc.. to have the harmonies stacked on top of each other in the panning.
They need some sort of space so I can appreciate the seperate performances.. whether its with panning, or frequencies.. (I think panning)
I'm not thinking wide panning, just something that gives a bit of seperation
It gets congested a bit IMO
but there is excellent vocals here
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You do have a point... We do sound a bit too "anchored" in the center when we go at it together. I was so buzzed on the performance, that I kind of overlooked the mixing part... But now that the adrenaline is down, I start noticing things.
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