a lot of really nice melodic thoughts going on! i think where the song needs work is making it a little more interesting. it's gets a little monotonous after awhile. i'm not an expert on Electronic Pop - but i could easily hear this in a dance club somewhere. if that were the case, I would probably expect a little more oomph from the low-end. Specifically the kick and bass. I think you could "spice" those up a little to add a lot of energy to the piece. It sounds like you might have a little verb on the synth providing the rhythm? if so, i'd remove that to provide more clarity and depth.
Just a couple thoughts for whatever it's worth. You have a great start with those beautiful ethereal melodies!
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