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Old 02-23-2009, 11:26 AM   #1
Mudchild
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Default How to inspire SINGER CONFIDENCE and DEFEAT SELF CONSCIOUSNESS! Ideas?

Hi folks

I run music/songwriting workshops and stuff like that, with kids in schools and community centres. Currently involved in a 'band development' workshop for young bands - helping them in rehearsal and performance issues.

However, one issue has come up for this one band, which I'm going to need a bit of help and research to deal with. Lead singer nervousness! The singer of this punk/pop band is a 17/18-year-old girl. She has a really good voice, but 'feels like a tit' when she sings, resulting in a rather standoffish demeanour and lack of stage presence. She (and her mother!) have expressed an interest in finding a way round this. No-one expects her to start leaping about like a maniac, but little bit of passion, movement, and engagement with the songs is hoped for - and it's good old self-consciousness that is the obstacle.

As a live performer, I've been a keyboard player, so not the focus of the band, and I've always just had to concentrate on what I'm doing while trying to give an air of 'getting into it' - I'm not the most experienced in overcoming self-consciousness and giving it your all.

I'm looking for tips, techniques, philosophies and exercises to help this girl overcome her self-consciousness. Please discuss!

Thanks
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Old 02-23-2009, 11:53 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by Mudchild View Post
Hi folks

I run music/songwriting workshops and stuff like that, with kids in schools and community centres. Currently involved in a 'band development' workshop for young bands - helping them in rehearsal and performance issues.

However, one issue has come up for this one band, which I'm going to need a bit of help and research to deal with. Lead singer nervousness! The singer of this punk/pop band is a 17/18-year-old girl. She has a really good voice, but 'feels like a tit' when she sings, resulting in a rather standoffish demeanour and lack of stage presence. She (and her mother!) have expressed an interest in finding a way round this. No-one expects her to start leaping about like a maniac, but little bit of passion, movement, and engagement with the songs is hoped for - and it's good old self-consciousness that is the obstacle.

As a live performer, I've been a keyboard player, so not the focus of the band, and I've always just had to concentrate on what I'm doing while trying to give an air of 'getting into it' - I'm not the most experienced in overcoming self-consciousness and giving it your all.

I'm looking for tips, techniques, philosophies and exercises to help this girl overcome her self-consciousness. Please discuss!

Thanks
Hit record when the vocalist thinks they are just doing a dry run through. I use that technique on a guitar player I use to do solos on my stuff. I'll put Reaper into loop record mode, and tell him "practice with it a couple times while I go make some coffee". When I come back into the studio, I'll check what he did and most times will have the solo that is the keeper. If he knows the red record light is lit, he'll want to do a zillion takes, each time saying "I think I can do a better one".
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Old 02-23-2009, 12:02 PM   #3
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Hi folks

I run music/songwriting workshops and stuff like that, with kids in schools and community centres. Currently involved in a 'band development' workshop for young bands - helping them in rehearsal and performance issues.

However, one issue has come up for this one band, which I'm going to need a bit of help and research to deal with. Lead singer nervousness! The singer of this punk/pop band is a 17/18-year-old girl. She has a really good voice, but 'feels like a tit' when she sings, resulting in a rather standoffish demeanour and lack of stage presence. She (and her mother!) have expressed an interest in finding a way round this. No-one expects her to start leaping about like a maniac, but little bit of passion, movement, and engagement with the songs is hoped for - and it's good old self-consciousness that is the obstacle.

As a live performer, I've been a keyboard player, so not the focus of the band, and I've always just had to concentrate on what I'm doing while trying to give an air of 'getting into it' - I'm not the most experienced in overcoming self-consciousness and giving it your all.

I'm looking for tips, techniques, philosophies and exercises to help this girl overcome her self-consciousness. Please discuss!

Thanks
Here are my unassembled random thoughts MC.

First above all else, she needs to be completely honest with herself. Have her ask herself this simple question:

Is this something that I really want to do, understanding that there may be situations in which I am intensly scrutinized and; can I cope with that type of rejection from time to time?

You can fool anyone but yourself. If the answer to the question above is "no", stop here and reevaluate things.

If she DOES enjoy this, and wants to get better at it (as I suspect the case may be), then she has to be willing to recieve and accpet harsh critisism. Period. If she cannot do this, then this isn't for her. As the front for a band, you are the one that everyone's going to be watching. That's a big, no - HUGE - responsibility, and it isn't for everyone. I think a biggest issue for many singers is simply knowing that their job in the band is the biggest job in the band. They psych themselves out with the mentality that; if they suck, then the whole band sucks. This is self-defeating, obviously, but it can be really easy to fall into that mindset. Just remember that everyone has good days and everyone has bad days, but more importantly, insecurity will bother you until you confront it head on.

Here are a few recommendations (after that spout of nonsense above):

Play to small audiences (i.e house party, open up their practice for friends to come see them, etc.). This will give her confidence as, more than likely, the majority of those watching will be friends - of course they will have a biased opinion, but in this case, that's the point - no one will be negative.

I'd do small shows, and gradually add more of an audience. Before she knows it, she'll be completely at home on stage (this will be great practice for the other band members too).

My first "serious" band did this, and we blew all of the other bands that played that night away (and I mean it wasn't even close - we made them look like children). We had our show together and we played incredibly well. All shows we played were great from there on out, even if we didn't play as well as we could have, we still had the confidence that we needed to not let that bother us.

You can take that route, or try this - have her videotape the bands performance at thier next band practice. Have them approach the practice as though they were playing to a packed club - dim the ligjhts, get the ambience going, etc. (go through the set-list - even talk to the crowd - it may seem silly, but might yield some interesting observations). Obviously, no one has to see the tape except the band, but they may be able to take a look at it subjectively and make suggestions to help one and other with their stage presence. Not necessarily as a "script" for their next show, but it you think you look stupid doing something, maybe you don't - how do you know though, if you can't see yourself doing it. That, and it will be fun to make fun of themselves, amd may bring them closer together (i.e. a "team building" excersize).

Last edited by Chris_P_Critter; 02-23-2009 at 12:16 PM.
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Old 02-23-2009, 12:04 PM   #4
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A few quick tips.

Get some video of her to so she can see herself not performing

Tell her to practice her moves in front of a mirror with a hair brush

Tell her to imagine her audience are all naked - should make her smile a lot

Don't tell she needs to overcome her self-consciousness - if she's seen the vids she don't need your help (or her mothers) to work that out, and it just makes it worse

Give her some time and space to develop her act.

Maybe do some of that group stuff that actors do to loosen up and get involved yourself, don't expect her to do stuff you won't do.

If you don't know any here's one for free.

Get a group to stand in circle and think of their dream, when everyone has a dream, someone has to start, this is where you get your hands dirty.
Bend forward and reach down with both hands and pretend to scoop your dream up off the floor. Still bending down, swing your dream from side to side in a slow swaying rhythm. While you are swinging your dream make a "whoa..whoa..whoa" noise in time to the swaying.

Now you are building up to the throw. You have keep your dream in you mind while you build up to it, you get a more excited and a bit louder and when you are ready and your hands are in front of you you start to stand up pulling your hands out in front as you accelerate and build up the noise - Whoaoa - Now throw your dream right up as high as you can reach up to the heavens ..WHOAWHAAA! and let it go, look right up above you and watch your dream go soaring up into the clouds.

Its always best to do this outside and it's especially good if other people are watching. The more you believe in your dream the better, and it's a lot more likely your dreams will come true

If you have done a good job, you will feel incredibly exhilarated and you will have the biggest grin ever on your face, and everyone else will be pissing themselves laughing.

Take it in turns and go round the circle until everyone has done it, when you are finished you should all be laying about laughing and feeling fantastic.

Self conscious people don't like this game much at first, but everybody likes it that tries it I can assure you.
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Old 02-23-2009, 12:07 PM   #5
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I posted some long stuff about this in the "recording tech and teq" sub-forum, but here are a couple of quick thoughts--

Are you looking to improve her musical performance, or her STAGE performance? Because they are often completely different things.

Asking how to "improve" or "overcome" personality traits is a huge undertaking, and not necessarily an achievable one,and not necessarily one with desirable outcomes even if it succeeds.

Why should she stop being self-conscious? Lots of good singers and musicians are self-conscious, and it does not have to be a handicap or a detriment, indeed it can be a integral part of the improvement process that drives some to get better where others would have been content to stagnate.

Moreover it is exceedingly likely that any effort to work on her self-consciousness and lack of confidence is only going to make her more self-conscious and less confident (except maybe getting her drunk). It's a bit like telling someone not be defensive. How can they not be after a statement like that?

My advice is to focus on the technical and musical stuff. As she sees herself become a better and more skilled performer and musician, and as she hears the improvement in her voice and delivery, and as she sees the genuine improvement in the reception her music gets from audiences and those around her, the self-confidence will start to improve on its own.

If she is ACTIVELY and SPECIFICALLY coming to you for confidence-boosting tips (as distinguished from you thinking that that's where she needs help), then there are tons of resources for visualization and so on (picture everyone around you is naked, close your eyes and take deep breaths, etc). What works and what doesn't for any individual is something of a crapshoot in my experience, but try it.

But in my experience, young musicians and artists who lack confidence usually desire to get better, deep down, rather than to feel better about where they're at right now. Getting them to a place where they are actually achieving the artistic and technical results that they envision tends to make them a lot more confident, if not outright arrogant. And I think most successful public-speaking courses and so on bear this out.

Focusing on the methodology and technique not only improves the actual performance, but it also gives the singer something to work on and think about other than their own self-consciousness, and thereby kind of sidesteps the whole need to try and play psychologist in the first place. Giving someone a challenging and choreographed technical task to complete gets them focused on the TASK instead of on themselves. So my advice is nothing other than the main: range, voice, pitch, timing, and harmony exercises that are challenging but achievable (and preferably fun).

my 2c, anyway. Have fun.
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Old 02-23-2009, 01:30 PM   #6
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An OUTSTANDING wealth of info there guys! Please keep it coming, it's all very valuable.
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Old 02-23-2009, 01:39 PM   #7
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If the singer is bigger than you, weapons are helpful. I find sarcasm, humiliation, and descriptions of careers as burger flippers to be effective tools
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Old 02-23-2009, 01:47 PM   #8
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Just make them laugh and learn to trust you.
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Old 02-23-2009, 01:58 PM   #9
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One thing that helps a lot is to give the singer something to aim for. I will take a guitar and play on the neck pickup, with the tone control turned down all the way thru a very saturated, undynamic distortion setting and play the vocal melody with the g b and high e strings
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Old 02-23-2009, 02:50 PM   #10
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random beatings.
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Old 02-23-2009, 02:56 PM   #11
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random beatings.
Before or after the sodium pentathol?
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Old 02-23-2009, 03:24 PM   #12
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Hi folks

I run music/songwriting workshops and stuff like that, with kids in schools and community centres. Currently involved in a 'band development' workshop for young bands - helping them in rehearsal and performance issues.

However, one issue has come up for this one band, which I'm going to need a bit of help and research to deal with. Lead singer nervousness! The singer of this punk/pop band is a 17/18-year-old girl. She has a really good voice, but 'feels like a tit' when she sings, resulting in a rather standoffish demeanour and lack of stage presence. She (and her mother!) have expressed an interest in finding a way round this. No-one expects her to start leaping about like a maniac, but little bit of passion, movement, and engagement with the songs is hoped for - and it's good old self-consciousness that is the obstacle.

As a live performer, I've been a keyboard player, so not the focus of the band, and I've always just had to concentrate on what I'm doing while trying to give an air of 'getting into it' - I'm not the most experienced in overcoming self-consciousness and giving it your all.

I'm looking for tips, techniques, philosophies and exercises to help this girl overcome her self-consciousness. Please discuss!

Thanks
It's simple, when someone's nervous about something (performing or anything) it's simply they haven't done enough practicing.
I remember when I was younger I use to always be nervous doing things in front of large crowds (specifically basketball and martial arts), I use to freeze up and my hands start sweating. I hated that feeling so much that it made me want to practice so hard, I would spend 4 hours + working out. After 3-4 months of practicing like this I stepped back into the same situations that made me nervous/freeze up but this time I had so much confidence that it almost bordered on cockiness. Things just became a lot easier.
I know this is not the same thing but I am a firm believer that nervousness is a byproduct of not having enough practice.
Peace.
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Old 02-23-2009, 04:01 PM   #13
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I think one has to look at these issues as if casting someone for a part in a movie or play. Some people just act naturaly, some play a part well, while others just look poorly cast.

Perhaps Norah Jones, for example, would feel (and look) awkward doing Sex Pistols covers, even if she was a big fan of the Sex Pistols.

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Old 02-23-2009, 04:02 PM   #14
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Back in the days I used to talk to lead singers about this quite a bit in various bands I was in. Sometimes because they had problems, sometimes because they always showed absolutely no fear at all.

A couple of memories from this:

* Remember that most of the people in the audience WANT you to be good. They want to be entertained. They want you to succeed. Tap into that. Those that don't want you to do well are miserable cretins and you sure as hell can't let them get any laughs at your expense. Get angry with them !

* If you're naturally a bit reserved make that your act. Be aloof, be cold, be "Kraftwerk". The "ice queen" is an effective persona. ( The reverse of this is to insist the singer take on the 'ice queen' role, and then see if she rebels and starts to display confident emotion ).

* Make sure bright lights are in her eyes the whole time so she can't see the audience !

* Get a recorded tape of boos and jeers and mix that into rehearsals after each song. It can have very interesting effect on some people. And when it doesn't happen when really playing ...

Just a few random memories.
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Old 02-23-2009, 06:01 PM   #15
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Default The Inner Game of Music

In addition to other suggestions I'd recommend this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Inner-Game-Mus.../dp/0330300172
http://www.innergameofmusic.com/
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Old 02-23-2009, 07:32 PM   #16
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Watch videos and emulate what other lead singers are doing. She may not be comfortable in that genera either, in which case nothing will help make her fit in. Other than that, there's no substitution for rehersal, time, and experience. Good luck.

Dan
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Old 02-23-2009, 08:24 PM   #17
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I think when you're a teenager you kinda feel like a tit anyway. Comes with the territory.

I fronted my own band for years and still perform occasionally. I play guitar so it was always something to hide behind and not feel so vulnerable. I think the really physically aggressive singers (confrontational and jumping into the audience) also have an exaggerated sense of their own importance — which doesn't hurt in the performing arts. There are lots of more "insular" singers and today's market allows for all kinds of people types to get acceptance (not like the old hair band days...)

It's obvious that she has to lose herself in the music and learn to let go of her fear of being judged. Not easy, but at some point you recognize that people have fun watching you have fun. And if she sings well, then that's half the battle. It would be worse if her singing sucked and her stage presence was good.

I would also get her interacting with other members of her band so that they have "moves" and that way she doesn't feel the total weight of the responsibility to carry the show. That is...until she builds confidence and learns her craft. Once it becomes more of a choreographed performance art, she won't feel intimidated about her moves betraying her inner self, which is what I think is happening. It'll be more like following directions rather than leading the way.

I think she's afraid to reveal her feelings in case someone tries to suck the life out of her joy.
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Old 02-23-2009, 09:16 PM   #18
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At the risk of offending some modern sensibilities, I think a lot of the stuff about "losing yourself in the music" is both overrated and frankly disingenuous.

It is true that great singers "lose themselves" in the music, but I think this is rather an effect than a cause of their greatness. I.e., machines (including people) who are perfectly tuned and maintained and who are built for maximum performance perform fuidly, intuitively, and with perfect, transcendental smoothness. OTOH, machines that are ill-suited to the task or that are poorly tuned or maintained are clunky, awkward, and tend to shudder and draw attention to themselves.

If your car (or voice) is the latter, it is not the fault of the driver, nor is it the "driver's" (psyche's) responsibility to pretend that you are driving a formula one racer. The machine/instrument/performance technique needs to be improved, and then "losing oneself" in the operation will become effortless.

I think any musician who practices has seen this happen. Something that you could previously only play haltingly and choppily with strangled notes and flubbed beats hits a turning point where you "get it" and it just starts to play itself, and it's like you're not even doing it anymore. You can just go on autopilot and feel and hear the music respond to your internal experience of it, as though someone else is playing it in response to an EKG readout of your brainwaves or something.

It's like you're not playing anymore, just hearing and vibing out on the sounds that your body's mechanical systems are producing, because your fingers and muscle memory have completely internalized the relationship between the sound and the motions. I am emphatically NOT talking about "mechanical" music or math-rock or just running mindless scale exercises, I'm talking about that zen state where the music just flows through you.

My feeling is that most efforts to try and reach that state any way other than by actually climbing the hard path up the mountain are worse than useless, that they are actually counter-productive.

There are about 80 million threads on the internet where people are asking for musical performance tips. And virtually none asking how to be less self-conscious. Musicians who lack confidence almost invariably do not wish for greater self-assurance, they wish to be BETTER. Insecurity may lead them to express this desire as a lack of confidence or stage fright or some such, but almost invariably the reality is that the sounds they hear themselves producing are not as good as the sounds they imagine themselves producing, and THAT is what's bugging them.

So if your pupil wants to sound like Beyonce or Stevie Nicks but instead sounds like Patti Smith, then stop trying to change her feelings and get down to brass tacks to improve her voice and range. And her confidence will skyrocket.

My 2c, anyway.
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Old 02-23-2009, 09:48 PM   #19
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Tell her to try some tapping techniques like EFT (www.emofree.com). They look weird, but they work for a lot of people. There's also videos on youtube.
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:26 AM   #20
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Already told you the answrr at The Other Place.

DRINK.
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Old 02-24-2009, 04:38 AM   #21
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Mudchild
my 2c.
human psychology is a frail beast at the best of times.
you have to find the root cause for the nervousness.
there might be various reasons. it might be bullying by others at
school for example leading to self doubt.
if you read any texts, sometimes in the teen years,
female bullying in some schools can be more prevalent in fact than male domains.
i was just reading a uk newspaper this week that troubled me about levels of bullying in some schools these days.
been lots of cases. whether this has occurred, i dont know.
for example mebe others have told her she cant sing out of jealousy cos she can and they cant.
it might be an inner conflict tween the desire to succed , parental pressure (parents often wanting their offspring to do better than
they did for example), and many many other reasons.
i think frankly its a very very difficult situation for you.
and i wouldnt beat up on yourself too much if you cant resolve it.
cos the root causes could be complex.
all you can do is try positive reinforcement as best you can.
some people are great singers, but it never comes out due to inner demons/doubt. tactfully you have to find out somehow the root causes.
if the person is a nervous singer , get them to
"belt it out" from the stomach. teach singing breathing excercises. ie where to take breaths tween vocal lines etc etc.
getting the person to write original lyrics can sometimes provide clues as to the root cause of nervousness.
for example if were me i might ask a person to write lyrics about what annoys them in the world around them.

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Old 02-24-2009, 07:34 AM   #22
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Default I love this topic

A grand old man once told a group of us that effective public speaking/performance/advocacy can be learned.

I did not believe him.

He spoke of 'Zen and the art of archery' where the disciples approach the Zen master who says that it will take them 10 years to hit the bulls eye every time. For the first 9 they would not touch a bow or arrow.They asked why and he said that that is how long it will take to clear out all the things in you that stop you hitting the target. After that the simple mechanics of hitting the target are only a few months training.

He was absolutely right.

It is inhibitions and fears that stop us and the techniques to deal with these blockages are varied and numerous but as concrete as .....er concrete.

There was a singer of that age at a venue we played at. Her band was great and she would never stand up. I asked her and she said because she could not stop her legs shaking. I said to her that all this confidence of the older bands was faked and we all had shaky knees but nobody ever noticed as it was our job as singers to put on such a show that people would be carried away by our sounds. I was lying; but it was a white lie as she began to concentrate on learned techniques and just a few actions she was comfortable with; like the sudden turn and look at the ceiling.

I never saw her finalise this but I did see a vast improvement in her singing from that time on. The physical moves gave her too much to think about to have time for the fears to build.

These are only some of them, but they improve performance and are as simple and straight forward as Richard Nixon wasn't.

Musical capability and talent are completely different things from performance. Have you not ever wondered why some perfect bastards are easily able to work a room and chat up all the nice women? They are masters of performance and know how to send peoples' imaginations into the stratosphere while their own morals and ugly souls lie in a sewer or a swamp, lost somewhere.

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Old 02-24-2009, 08:01 AM   #23
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I don't know if it is the same thing as Zen, or losing yourself in the music but something I realised very early on as a lead guitarist was my best stuff always came as a result for abandoning any ideas about how I might play and focusing entirely on what I was hearing so as to completely remove myself from the picture. Anything could happen, I always thought it was a bit like Jackson Pollock throwing paint at walls where there is an element of control but most of the inspiration happens within a split second as a response to what is happening right now.

I also write lyrics in a very similar way. I just spew out garbage words while playing and after a while they form into meaningful sentances without putting any thought into them at all. I have tried writing lyrics th normal way but they always sound contrived - probably because they are

I doubt that helps Mudchild at all, but maybe it's of some interest to somebody
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:14 AM   #24
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It simply comes down to learning to trust yourself - that you can do this, and when you do screw something up - as ALWAYS happens - then that's okay too cuz there's always the next night, and then the 5000 nights after that.

On the 2008 Van Halen tour, one night 'Jump' was played in the wrong key because of a sequencer malfunction and the band looked as lost an disorganized as any group of teenagers trying to figure out where the chorus comes in. But you think that worried VH? Was Dave scarred for life? Nah...cuz they're accustomed to train wrecks from decades of experience, so they take it less like a crisis and more like "can't wait till this one's over!"

As for losing yourself: You can lose yourself in your appreciation of the song once you know your material. After that you also have the choice to lose yourself in the fear of being judged. You don't have to be a singer to exist in that reality.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:23 AM   #25
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My 0.02....


She has to be comfortable actually learning. And learning ALWAYS means making mistakes. If you try to be perfect at something the first try, you will never grow. The human brain just doesn't learn that way.

Make mistakes - sometimes intentionally. Let her take the voice / act out for a spin and crash it into a tree. Learn the boundaries of the capability so she's not worried about getting stuck. If you know how to sound BAD, then you know your limits and strengths.

Let her do that, in a relative "safe" environment of learning, instead of trying to be perfect the first time. I dont mean to always intentionally make mistakes: at some point you then try to hit a good performance. But it should help feel more comfortable because a) different expectations, b)just having fun, c)learning the range, etc

Think about it. How did you learn to drive in the snow? If you're like me, you found a parking lot - did donuts and sides until you figured out how the car felt. Same thing..

Oh yeah, and video taping etc helps a lot. Nothing better than a reality check on yourself. It's never the same what you expect and you find all sorts of things you never knew you were doing. Again, all of it in a learning environment / fun / etc.

Last edited by LCipher; 02-24-2009 at 08:26 AM.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:12 PM   #26
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maybe give her a guitar to hide behind, would help if she could actually bang out some chords, but not entirely necessary...
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:14 AM   #27
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D R I N K......
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Old 02-25-2009, 05:51 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mudchild View Post
The singer of this punk/pop band is a 17/18-year-old girl. She has a really good voice, but 'feels like a tit' when she sings, resulting in a rather standoffish demeanour and lack of stage presence. She (and her mother!) have expressed an interest in finding a way round this. No-one expects her to start leaping about like a maniac, but little bit of passion, movement, and engagement with the songs is hoped for - and it's good old self-consciousness that is the obstacle.
Is it that she feels a tit singing in front of people or that she feels a tit moving about showing passion/emotion/feelings in front of people?
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Old 02-26-2009, 12:01 AM   #29
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Hearing again that's she's 17/18 has reminded me I was once in a band with a 18-year-old female singer. She was nervous as hell. We tried various things to boost her confidence and get her to loosen up on stage, but nothing worked.

In the end we got a "veteran" female singer in her late 20s who was confident and had them on stage together. Suddenly the young one "lit up" and became everything we wanted. The problem was she just felt isolated and alone up there and needed on-stage interaction to give her the "cues".
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Old 02-26-2009, 12:23 AM   #30
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Quote:
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Hi folks

I run music/songwriting workshops and stuff like that, with kids in schools and community centres. Currently involved in a 'band development' workshop for young bands - helping them in rehearsal and performance issues.

However, one issue has come up for this one band, which I'm going to need a bit of help and research to deal with. Lead singer nervousness! The singer of this punk/pop band is a 17/18-year-old girl. She has a really good voice, but 'feels like a tit' when she sings, resulting in a rather standoffish demeanour and lack of stage presence. She (and her mother!) have expressed an interest in finding a way round this. No-one expects her to start leaping about like a maniac, but little bit of passion, movement, and engagement with the songs is hoped for - and it's good old self-consciousness that is the obstacle.

As a live performer, I've been a keyboard player, so not the focus of the band, and I've always just had to concentrate on what I'm doing while trying to give an air of 'getting into it' - I'm not the most experienced in overcoming self-consciousness and giving it your all.

I'm looking for tips, techniques, philosophies and exercises to help this girl overcome her self-consciousness. Please discuss!

Thanks
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Old 02-26-2009, 04:50 AM   #31
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Beer.











Or wine. Depending on personal taste.
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Old 02-26-2009, 11:01 AM   #32
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Lots of great stuff here!

What I do and recommend is when you practice on your own, practice like you are on stage, every time (well, whenever possible). If you play guitar like me, practice standing up. Move around. Get distracted by family members, don't look at the guitar neck, etc. Confidence comes easier when you can pull off all the required tasks naturally and/or effortlessly in parallel. If you practice sitting down or standing still in a sterile environment, when you try to sing/play on stage and try to walk/run around, hi-5 a fan, wave at a friend, point to the audience, etc. it will be forced and you will have to think about what you are doing and lose focus, thus making you feel self conscious when you screw up! My 2c.
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Old 02-26-2009, 06:22 PM   #33
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Quote:
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Beer.











Or wine. Depending on personal taste.
Maybe Xanax, or Klonopin? Or both?
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Old 02-26-2009, 11:22 PM   #34
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Hi. Please, take me seriously, but hypnosis can really help with such problems. I've been doing self-hypnosis for about a year now and if I had such a problem, I'd definitely solve it by hypnosis.
In England there's a bunch of excellent hypnotists. I've been told Adam Eason is a guru, Glenn Harold also.
You may just call one of them or any experienced one to see what options you have regarding this. He/she may also prepare a hypnotic tape especially for this matter and there are such tapes on internet already to be bought and they are relatively cheap.
Give it a try, it can do wonders and really no harm can be done (some people think hypnosis is a voodoo think, but it's just a natural state of mind, which every one of us experience few times a day (driving, reading, listening to music,...)

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Old 02-27-2009, 03:05 AM   #35
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Quote:
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Is it that she feels a tit singing in front of people or that she feels a tit moving about showing passion/emotion/feelings in front of people?
I'm not sure at this stage, possibly a bit of both, but more the latter I would guess.

By the way guys thanks for the wealth of info here, it's given me some great ideas, which I'm preparing for tomorrow's workshop.

I had some other ideas of my own, just exercises to get her off the starting blocks and moving about, what do you think of the following:

• During a song run-through, take away the mic stand and tell her she’s not allowed to stand still while singing. She can close her eyes, look wherever she wants, walk wherever she wants, do whatever she wants, as long as she keeps moving and singing. The others in the band (apart from drums) also have to do the same thing (to take the pressure off her a bit).

• Tell her to pretend that the mic stand is holding her up because she feels dizzy, and will fall over if she doesn't literally hang on to it to support her weight, and also that the mic stinks of dogshit so that between lines she has to move it away from her mouth! This MIGHT engender a bit of a rocknroll hanging-off-the-mic-stand snarling and grooving about? - just a bit of fun of course...
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Old 02-27-2009, 03:48 AM   #36
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I don't get this one at all mud


• Tell her to pretend that the mic stand is holding her up because she feels dizzy, and will fall over if she doesn't literally hang on to it to support her weight, and also that the mic stinks of dogshit so that between lines she has to move it away from her mouth! This MIGHT engender a bit of a rocknroll hanging-off-the-mic-stand snarling and grooving about? - just a bit of fun of course...


I would just ask what her preferred style would be if she could do it alright, with mike stand or without? I think most singers would go for without stand but have one to put the mike on when not in use.

The dog shit idea stinks - no need for any imagery here, just tell her to bring the mike up when singing and hold it down or away when not singing. She won't get it right until she practices this but she will learn microphone technique naturally this way.

You don't want to labour on this or take responsibility for her development because you can come across as being too pushy and achieve the opposite of what you desire. Stick to the fun aspects and positive reinforcement, but let her use the tools you make available. If she has the aptitude she will learn at her own speed.

The biggest help you can be is too be an example, stand up and sing by yourself, sing with her as well, and make a fool of yourself if necessary, then they can see how it can't hurt you and can be great fun as well.
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Old 02-27-2009, 04:53 AM   #37
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Some folks don't like cans. They feel restricted, enclosed, disembodied. Dusty Springfield was rumoured to sing with zero voice in the cans, apparently she didn't like the sound of her own voice. The old one ear trick can help some people. Or maybe no cans and use the monitors at lo level. Gate the track. A few use that technique.

Using a hand held mic can be fun for those who don't like a static position in front of a stand.

ns

Last edited by nightscope; 02-27-2009 at 05:26 AM.
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