Old 12-23-2012, 09:16 PM   #1
Nineofkings
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Default Closer Than They Appear - Indie Pop?

It's a bit dramatic, but hopefully still cool enough to not be embarrassed listening to it. Comments are, as always, appreciated.

https://soundcloud.com/nine-of-kings...an-they-appear
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:17 PM   #2
jopatius
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this song does not work at all.

"this notion is destined to die
but then again, so am I"

I listened to this first verse three times, and it did not start to make any kind of impression to me. First verses should impress.

Chorus breaks down suddenly in the middle of it. That does not work.

I listened the first one minute of this song three times and decided I do not want to hear the rest of it, ever.

Previously, I have heard your songs and I remember you had at that time choruses as your stenght. I think this song was a step back from those times.
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Old 01-01-2013, 01:34 PM   #3
Nineofkings
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I can see why you would think that. Previously, all of my songs were focused on the chorus. The choruses where the main points and expressed everything the song was meant to convey, with the verses as sort of lower-energy interludes between them.

This song, however, was focused on the verses, with the chorus as a sort of common theme that binds the verses together. The "chorus breaking down in the middle" was meant to be less of a really long chorus and more of a bridge that leads up to the chorus, which is why they have different vibes. Most of the ideas and feelings I had when writing this song went into the verses. It's surprising to me that the verse(s) would be so unaffecting, then, because personally they hold a lot of meaning and I would have hoped that would carry over. It's fine that this kind of music isn't your cup of tea, but it's surprising that it would be so offensive.
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Old 01-03-2013, 05:18 AM   #4
CrankyChris
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I liked it. Good vocals and I liked the guitar. Cool Chorus.

To improve, you might work on the drum sounds. I think a bigger reverb could help them sound more realistic. Also, since you don't have a bass line, you could add considerable delay or reverb to the kick. Think Prince - Kiss.

Also, I assume you're keying them in. I used to do that but I've found that I like using grooves (played by real drummers) even though they may not exactly fit the song I'm working on. It brings a better sense of realism.

My 2 cents . Best wishes.
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Old 01-03-2013, 07:16 AM   #5
Fictional Substance
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Excellent. I rather liked it. The words really don't mean much to me and I probably couldn't care much less about them. What I mean is that's not what I, personally, look for in music. I appreciate them (wish I could write them), but I like catchy up front. The other stuff will follow and grow on me. For instance, I've heard some Japanese pop/rock that's absolutely catchy as hell, but I'll never know what they're saying.
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Old 01-04-2013, 05:53 AM   #6
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The "chorus breaking down in the middle" was meant to be less of a really long chorus and more of a bridge that leads up to the chorus, which is why they have different vibes.
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Old 01-04-2013, 02:09 PM   #7
A Was An Archer
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I quite liked it. I expected to be a bit put off by the sometimes melo-dramatic lyrics but I think the dry delivery made it work (for me, anyway). On the constructive criticism front, I agree with Cranky's advice on the drums, FWIW.
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