Severed Ties

[Dream Of Sleeping]

https://soundcloud.com/dreamofsleeping/severed-ties

This is probably about as close to pop as I can get.

[Judders]

That's a really well-crafted song.

You know what I was thinking while I was listening to it? That some subtle percussion - shakers/tambourine - would accentuate the rhythm changes nicely. Or maybe bringing the drums up would have the same effect...

EDIT: lots of great stuff on your soundcloud. You're a talented songwriter!

[Dream Of Sleeping]

That's a really well-crafted song.

You know what I was thinking while I was listening to it? That some subtle percussion - shakers/tambourine - would accentuate the rhythm changes nicely. Or maybe bringing the drums up would have the same effect...

EDIT: lots of great stuff on your soundcloud. You're a talented songwriter!

Thank you. I'm listening to your stuff now. It's really inventive. I like it a lot.

[sammartin23]

I liked it quite a bit. Especially the intro the way you brought in the drums and the bass. There are parts of this song that have fantastic meaningful lyrics. The 2nd verse is great with the "all of life's stages to decimal places". Really like that line. Also the chorus is very well written. Sound quality wise on my headphones, it sounds great, I really have no complaints. Well done, well played, and well sung!

Sam

[msundh]

Great pop!
The arrangement could be more varied, almost the same until 2:50. Maybe vary the singing style a tiny bit.
The vocals doesn't get through, it could (should) be more present.
I bet it's difficult to have power when singing this kind of song.
But still, everything else is great.

[Dream Of Sleeping]

I liked it quite a bit. Especially the intro the way you brought in the drums and the bass. There are parts of this song that have fantastic meaningful lyrics. The 2nd verse is great with the "all of life's stages to decimal places". Really like that line. Also the chorus is very well written. Sound quality wise on my headphones, it sounds great, I really have no complaints. Well done, well played, and well sung!

Sam

Thanks so much for the feedback.

[Dream Of Sleeping]

Great pop!
The arrangement could be more varied, almost the same until 2:50. Maybe vary the singing style a tiny bit.
The vocals doesn't get through, it could (should) be more present.
I bet it's difficult to have power when singing this kind of song.
But still, everything else is great.

Thank you very much, I appreciate the constructive criticism.

As for the vocal level, well that was tricky. I'm not saying I've got it perfect but I've got it as close as I can get it for now until my skills improve with time. I was really trying to keep the fullness of my voice, inspired by radiohead (Jigsaw Falling Into Place). I didn't want to cut it all out to make it brighter. But of course that makes it harder to carve space.

I'm pretty happy with the arrangement. There are lots of subtle instrumention that come in. But having said that, perhaps I could have added vocal harmonies to give it a lift.

[mschuster]

Nice laid-back indie vibe! Could easily see this in any of the Indie films I've watched in the last month. Lyrics are spectacular! Really like this => "It's been a while since I Blew a kiss and missed by a mile".

Looking through prior comments, I echo msundh's thoughts on the arrangement and vocals being a little subdued - both from a mix and performance perspective. But what you interject, vocally, at 2:43 is great! Just wished that happened a little more, and a little sooner. Now, having said that - I realize I normally work in genres that require, often demand, extreme inflection in the voice. So, it's completely possible I'm off the mark here. The concept of 'less is more' has eluded me for years! ;)

Great effort! Keep em' coming!

[Dream Of Sleeping]

Nice laid-back indie vibe! Could easily see this in any of the Indie films I've watched in the last month. Lyrics are spectacular! Really like this => "It's been a while since I Blew a kiss and missed by a mile".

Looking through prior comments, I echo msundh's thoughts on the arrangement and vocals being a little subdued - both from a mix and performance perspective. But what you interject, vocally, at 2:43 is great! Just wished that happened a little more, and a little sooner. Now, having said that - I realize I normally work in genres that require, often demand, extreme inflection in the voice. So, it's completely possible I'm off the mark here. The concept of 'less is more' has eluded me for years! ;)

Great effort! Keep em' coming!

Thanks. I may re record vocals in a few weeks and try and liven them up a bit.

[sammydix]

The first comment said it best: so well crafted.

[Dream Of Sleeping]

The first comment said it best: so well crafted.

Thank you very much. :)

[Dream Of Sleeping]

New mix on my soundcloud now. I think I got the vocal level a bit better this time.

[Bartolla Rockarolla]

Really great song, I love the build at the end.

[Timothy Lawler]

I like everything about this.

[Dream Of Sleeping]

Really great song, I love the build at the end.

I like everything about this.

Thanks so much!

[RobertP]

Oh! liked this a lot.
I dont mean this in any way pejoratively but it has a very appealing 'loosness' to my ears - hard to describe and harder to achieve.

I am so jealous of your voice
Need more please

[Dream Of Sleeping]

Oh! liked this a lot.
I dont mean this in any way pejoratively but it has a very appealing 'loosness' to my ears - hard to describe and harder to achieve.

I am so jealous of your voice
Need more please

Thank you. Maybe I over did the humanization of the drums. haha

[HugoRibeiroDotCom]

Very nice song Mr. Dream. I enjoyed it. Has some nice production details. Also reminds me kind of some of that 90s Brit pop like Blur.

cheers