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Old 02-28-2020, 03:48 PM   #5
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: California
Posts: 554

Originally Posted by g4greg View Post
Good lawd is that ever a nasty bass sound! I loooove it!

your vocals improved a lot you've got some pipes now...

Not sure I like the over simplistic guitars on the verses.. Since the bass is so massive, maybe something played higher and in harmony would work better? Just an idea like that.

Nevertheless, I really like where this is going!


Originally Posted by tspring View Post
This song has a lot of potential. The main thing holding it back is uncertain pitch in the vocal melody. I start to get into where it is going, and then its as if you can't decide between two notes so you split the difference and you lose me. The vocal quality is otherwise fine, and what parts of the melody I do grasp seem quite good. But there are places where I think that you have not really figured out the melody you intend to sing, and this is where you drift off pitch.

Having struggled with tunes where I found myself in this situation, I do have some suggestions: Use a pitch correction tool to help you see where you are drifting off pitch, and more importantly to help nail down exactly what you want for the melody to be. Make the pitch corrections needed to get the melody the way you want it to be. Now sing with your corrected vocal repeatedly until you get the melody firmly in your mind. Then re-record the vocal. I would bet money that your pitch control will be greatly improved and the melody will come through much more strongly. But if pitch is still an issue, you could double track over the pitch corrected version, and that might sound cool.

To be honest, I usually click past songs of this genre, but what you are doing grabbed my interest. There is something here that is worth more work and perfection. Keep pushing.
Originally Posted by SoundGuyDave View Post
First, and most importantly, you have a SONG to work with, so you're 80% of the way there! Critique, not criticism:

1) Bass Guitar: I seriously dig that tone in this song!! Don't change a thing. Drumss are AC-DC basic, but they seem to fit okay.
2) Guitar 1 (stabs, 1, 2-and beats) While the tone is kinda generic, it fits the part. I'd be okay with it for now, perhaps take a bit of top-end off, up in the 5k-6k range. Gently, just to make it a "dark" tone, not dull.
3) Guitar 2: I would separate out the parts a little bit more, scoop it and push the highs. Structurally, I would look for anywhere you can do counter-rhythm to accent. Narrow the panning between the guitars and force the tones and parts to separate them. Makes the combination more massive that way. Also, re-structure in a higher register, inversions, up the neck.
4) vocals: The low stuff in the first verse is cool. Maybe make the guitars more sparse for the first half, then bring in the 8th note pump for the second. The higher-register stuff sounds very strained. Maybe pitch the whole thing down a half-step, at least to record? Tspring's vocal comments are on-point. There are pitch issues. I would also loosen up the vocal timing, start "swinging" the beat a bit. It's just a bit too lock-step against the relentless 8th note groove. Think dotted notes, anticipations, suspensions.
5) The bass gets too simplistic in the B-section, before the solo. Keep the same feel as the verse, if you can.
6) guitar solo is buried, could use some polish on technique and note choice.
7) Back vox, around 3:00, too buried, too processed, they lose the impact.
8) Ambience trail on the final snare hit is chopped off in the mastering.

Overall, I would try to get some space in the verse sections, make the second guitar part an actual independent part, and really concentrate on the vocal execution and the solos. This is a great start, though!
I really appreciate the comments and suggestions. You guys have given me a lot to digest and ideas to explore.

Vocals are most always a problem area for me especially if i am attempting more then just barking and growling.

I think the changes in register ot pitch that happen seemingly random is a result of the comping i did as the two takes i did were two different approaches. I would like to have a harmony vocal in many areas. I like the idea of tuning then retrack using tuned vocal as a guide of sorts.
The generic fill guitar between verses will definitely be changing, what's there now is a scratch. I did intentionally push it back as i would like it somewhat distant and not the main focus.
Again thank you for the ideas and for taking the time to relay them here.
Really very helpful.
Looking forward to getting to work on v2
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