I really loved the instrumental aspects. Just great stuff there.
To be brutally honest, the vocals were a negative for me. I'd say there were three issues:
1. The effects choices, chorus or whatever, just did not fit with the instrumental tones, in my opinion. Too much of that "singing through a tin cup" hollow / echo sound. I think a more raw, plain vocal tone would have gone better. Now, if this is a product of auto-tune or something, maybe it's unavoidable, but then I guess rather than doing less vocal FX, maybe you need to add more FX. There's not just one way to fix this, but for me the current FX / tonal aspect of the vocals was just a bad fit. As an example, I listened to some of your other song, Native Tongue, and I thought the vocals there had a much better tone, stronger and more raw / unmodified, and I think that would have worked better with this song, too.
2. The melodic line of the vocals was not great for me. Maybe too simplistic and repetitive, not "melodic" enough, or something like that. I want to say the verses were like the same five notes repeated three times, and I think those notes were just moving between two musical notes, like "a a a c a." If you stripped away the instruments, and just sang the vocal melody, I don't think this would sound like a pretty song. It feels like the vocal melody was an after thought.
3. I think the singing is just pitchy in general. Like, maybe you used an autotune that was a bit slow to correct, or just somewhat imperfect. Or maybe an autotune is needed? It is not off by a lot, but there were places I felt the voice came very close, but not quite, to the next note it needed to hit.
I'm not a singer, so this is more criticism from a music listener than a peer.
Ken
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