Old 12-10-2017, 08:53 AM   #1
Reno.thestraws
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Default any suggestion for this mix? (WIP)

A cinematic love song for my daughter, Eline

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1_M...XpiciXT0aZ1DBN


I wrote everything in this song from lyrics to piano, drums, bass, guitars,... every single note

Thanks to my bandmate to play/sing it exactly like the part

Final Version

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Last edited by Reno.thestraws; 08-01-2018 at 08:43 AM.
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Old 12-10-2017, 06:42 PM   #2
Tod
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I think for the most part Reno, this is very well done, all the way around, front to back, good performances, good mix.

There's two places that I thought were kind of lacking, and this could just be me.

The guitar parts that came in around 59 seconds or so seemed out of place. Maybe it would have better if a piano or some other instrument had played it.

The other place was at the end when you combined all the guitars and drums into one huge conglomeration of sound, to me it was very cluttered and didn't match the nice structure you had for much of the song. I know it was to make a big ending, but it didn't work for me.

I think you did a great job on this, and it's good like it is, but I thought I'd mention what were lesser parts for me.
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Old 12-10-2017, 09:41 PM   #3
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I like the ending. Love songs that end with a BANG.

Perhaps with a bit more back vocals it would sit better.

Like this? : https://www.dropbox.com/s/tfrzzoskx0...ooves.mp3?dl=0

Note: I added French backing lyric, because I wanted to hear what Reno's song would 'feel' with some French in it. I keep bugging him to do it... hehehe
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Old 12-11-2017, 06:35 AM   #4
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I think this sounds pretty good and I'd be happy if I could do as well. A compelling and heart felt apology from someone who's clearly thought a great deal about the state of our world.

I don't know if this would be an improvement or not but, if I was the producer, I'd want to hear a version with the vocal just a touch louder- I'm talking maybe half a db. And maybe not through the entire song.

I also noticed a weird lispy, sibilance thing on the vocal at 2:56.

Nice job!
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Old 12-12-2017, 03:24 AM   #5
Reno.thestraws
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Quote:
The guitar parts that came in around 59 seconds or so seemed out of place. Maybe it would have better if a piano or some other instrument had played it.
It is actually a guitar/piano duet but I need to remix this part.

Quote:
to me it was very cluttered and didn't match the nice structure you had for much of the song. I know it was to make a big ending, but it didn't work for me.
I know there's a lot of layers. It's an artistic choice. The goal is to make the listener feel uncomfortable. Make the listener think about the consequences of the things I'm talking about in the lyrics. With a sudden stop!

Quote:
I also noticed a weird lispy, sibilance thing on the vocal at 2:56.
Gonna check this out; thanks!
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Old 12-14-2017, 07:03 AM   #6
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Nice !
here's my thoughts, listening to it on my headphones and monitors.
It just feels like every instruments are played in different space, the distances sound a bit weird.
Also, the piano sounds a bit thin when playing alone, makes the intro sound very 80's.
A bit too much verb on the snare drum.
A bit too much air on the lead voice, you can hear a few mouth sounds during the intro (around 30s).
Some of these are just opinions and might be deliberate choices...

Hope it helps.
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Old 12-15-2017, 06:02 AM   #7
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I too would have liked the vocal up a bit as the power guitars etc are so forceful. I felt that when the full blast hit I wasn't so much listening as being immersed in the music. Rather like being swept up in a vortex! I think you have achieved what you set out to do. The playing and singing are exemplary but my ears still hurt!!
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Old 08-01-2018, 08:43 AM   #8
Reno.thestraws
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Here's the final version

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