Old 11-06-2019, 03:04 AM   #1
asharin
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Default The Cage - New song

After a short break (various family members visiting on and off the past few months) getting back into making some music
https://soundcloud.com/laughing-in-purgatory/the-cage
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Old 11-06-2019, 08:18 PM   #2
prom
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Sounds like a great song in the works to me.
Good that you had a break and are working again.
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Old 11-08-2019, 06:31 AM   #3
tspring
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I think that you have the kernel of a good song, but at this point, it is too repetitive, and everything follows the root notes of the chords too closely. The tendency toward too much repetition is something I always struggle with when i try to write a tune, so I can only suggest things that I try to do to break the tendency.

After a couple of verses, try to break the chord pattern somehow. Maybe just play a few bars of instrumentation over related chord. And then come back to your original chord progression. Your bass line leans very heavily on the root note of the chords. Try to find a bass riff that takes you away from the root notes and then returns. Now the hard part. Your vocal melody also follows the root notes of the chords pretty closely.This is Ok for a few bars, but I always try to force myself to try variations in the note pattern after the melodic line repeats. I don't think that it has be elaborate, it just has to be something.
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