I'm a HUGE fan of Toontrack products. I have both EZDrummer and Superior Drummer 2.0. For ease of use, I really can't say how much EZD & SD2.0 appeal to me. The expansion packs offer a wide variety of sounds for whatever you're looking to record.
...but...I had my head turned recently by Addictive Drums. Just the stock set-up sounded somewhat stronger (to me) than most of the Toontrack stuff. For the record, iZotope's iDrum sounds pretty good, too.
As far as MIDI files are concerned, I'm a bit of a junkie. I've got stuff from OddGrooves, GrooveMonkee, and Toontrack. As far as I'm concerned, most files won't have exactly what you need, but Reaper has an awesome and easy-to-use MIDI editor for that.
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