Old 09-08-2014, 11:49 PM   #81
Garrick
Human being with feelings
 
Garrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wellington
Posts: 4,622
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msore View Post
Maybe they are not muses, but some kind of vicious feedback, or pop propaganda, or even ads. The voices of your parents, of your childhood, or of the electrical system in your house. Anyhow you got something (raw) and did something cool (effectively structured) with it. You must have some kind of muse helping you cut through stuff and focus. Trust her.
I think it's best not to know but muses helps explain it even if it was really the blue cheese you had the night before.

All I know is get the tune down quickly. The longer you leave it, the tune will repeat and repeat and slowly mutate to the path of least resistance ending up bland pap
Garrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2014, 04:23 AM   #82
Tedwood
Human being with feelings
 
Tedwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: South Coast UK
Posts: 14,303
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bikerider View Post
Backwards and Forwards, nice title for a song. Let's see where that goes.

2215. Backwards and Forwards

v1.
Reading what she said doesn't make sense
And yet it does
There's no changing what's written down
I can read it backwards and forwards
It says the same thing.
...........

I tried reading this song the backwards and upside down, but it was gobbledigook. Funny thing is it's gobbledigook the right way up as well
__________________
The grass is greener where it rains
Tedwood is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2014, 07:27 AM   #83
Jorgen
Human being with feelings
 
Jorgen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Posts: 5,465
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msore View Post
Editing is way underrated for songwriters.
THAT is a craft. Love editing and redrafts, but there are moments when the song just dies, some brilliant ideas only just perfectly fitted together, let it bleed and die with dignity.
Jorgen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2014, 07:32 AM   #84
Jorgen
Human being with feelings
 
Jorgen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Posts: 5,465
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bikerider View Post
Backwards and Forwards, nice title for a song. Let's see where that goes.

2215. Backwards and Forwards
.......

.......
.....
etc


September 8, 2014
Totally. I tell you, we might be on to something here!
Jorgen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2014, 01:57 PM   #85
Garrick
Human being with feelings
 
Garrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wellington
Posts: 4,622
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msore View Post

First drafts are first drafts. Songs sometimes come out that way, but more often you should take the first draft and edit the shit out of it. Editing is way underrated for songwriters.
I'm finding this helpful at the moment. Write the first draft and then record it no matter how mediocre the lyrics are. After recording the brain seems to work out solutions while your not even thinking about it. Do next draft, repeat rinse...etc

I'm actually starting to think I can do this.
Garrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2014, 07:09 PM   #86
Garrick
Human being with feelings
 
Garrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wellington
Posts: 4,622
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bikerider View Post
The few times I've had to edit the shit out of a song is when I try to make the random inputs of various collaborators in to a coherant song. I've done this 3 times. But I left the songs with others to record and complete and they never did, so I don't know how they turned out.

None of those songs are from the recent few months of posts in this forum.
I would probably have a hard time doing that. I suspect deep down that I might be a terrible collaborator
Garrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2014, 02:16 AM   #87
Garrick
Human being with feelings
 
Garrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wellington
Posts: 4,622
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bikerider View Post
I forgot to say: The 3 songs I mention above were written in IRC channels. People were just throwing out lines randomly and others would say: Yeah, use that line. That's a great line. Then I was the one "annoited" to make the coherant song with it.

I don't know if I'm a good collaborator or not. I've never seen a collaboration I've worked on completed.

I do tend to take charge of a project when it seems to have no leader / director. I think the next time I get into such a collaboration, and no one steps up to lead it, I should complete the recording of it. Then every one can see if it's a good song or not.
I like the idea very much and would like to do that here oneday. I think it works better if your in the same room so if your ever in new zealand pop around
Garrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2014, 12:00 AM   #88
franV
Human being with feelings
 
franV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 6,987
Default

Verse 1

OOOOoOOooOOOoeAaaAAaAAaaAAAhHHHhhHheeeEe*EEeEAaAae EEEEEeeEEeE AAaaEeeEeeeaaaaAAaAaaEEeEEoOoOOooOeEEeAA*aAahHHhhh HEeeEeEEEoO ooOOO

__________________
in my humble opinion of course
Cray XC40
franV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2014, 01:13 PM   #89
msore
Human being with feelings
 
msore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Rafael
Posts: 11,594
Default real life produces ballads

Here is a song I wrote the other day out of the vague inspiration of the repeating stories about cops who don't know how to be cops.

Anyone who wants to work on putting it to music is welcome to go at it.

m

==============================

Charlie Kinegan Killed Him Dead


Charlie Kinegan killed him dead
and everyone cheered.
From Thirty-third to Seventy-second there was
a celebration.
An age was over and his fate was
long overdue.

He used to drink and snooze in a booth
at the nudie bookstore.
His sources and his toadies brought him
what he needed.
Anyone waking him up would get
their fingers broken.

For years he kept his rackets
on the low key.
Just him and his neighborhood and
nobody said nothing.
Nothing to say 'cause everyone knew
what's what and who's who.

Over the years he made a few
friends - the right ones.
He got a medal for dragging a woman
out of his own fire.
Once in a while he'd help a child
or bust a bad guy.

He picked his partners carefully
and was hard on them.
They all skeedaddled quicker than
a dog can paddle.
No real loot in this poor neck
of the woods anyway.

Things changed when the Haitians
arrived a few at a time.
He told them what was good for them but
they didn't do what they should.
Simple people only understood, he said
simple measures.

Quickly the simple escalated from just
mean to hateful.
He began with beatings then added
the offbeat and indiscreet.
Within a month there was more than one
body in the street.

There was a woman, isn't there always
a woman at the eye
of any storm. Her name was Amina
a lawyer of character
hard as mahogany with skin the hue
and patina of coffee.

She gave him trouble in public
and he threatened her.
It would have been her death except
for crowd closing in.
He withdrew but everyone knew those
frozen eyes of his.

How could anyone in that city have
predicted how sweetly
an Irish lad could go so mad over
that skinny newcomer?
Soon they were insparable, Charlie
and Amina, what a pair!

Summer and the windows at a hundred
degrees were all open.
At midnight a ruckus broke loose
a deafening fuss with
shots and screams and shit tossed
through shattered glass.

That cocksucker of a bad cop
had crept in
for vile revenge on that Haitian witch
but had stepped in
to where two lovers slept with a gun
under the pillow.

An age was over and his fate was
long overdue.
From Thirty-third to Seventy-second there was
a celebration.
Charlie Kinegan killed him dead
and everyone cheered.
__________________
My religion is all or none.
msore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2014, 04:17 PM   #90
Syd Masters
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: gently scraping your delicate sensibilities with a potato peeler
Posts: 6,791
Default

They say a picture is worth a thousand words (or something like that), so I'll just leave this here-

http://www.boredpanda.com/historic-photos/



Plenty of inspiration for lyric writing within these pics

Last edited by Syd Masters; 11-23-2014 at 05:00 PM.
Syd Masters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2014, 05:07 PM   #91
msore
Human being with feelings
 
msore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Rafael
Posts: 11,594
Default

And your lyrics are ...


???
__________________
My religion is all or none.
msore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2014, 05:10 PM   #92
Syd Masters
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: gently scraping your delicate sensibilities with a potato peeler
Posts: 6,791
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msore View Post
And your lyrics are ...


???
Not for you to judge, evil old bitch-man.

Quote:
And she was me and I was she
Forever wrapped around
Two as one together be
In that way we were bound
-Me
Go fuck yourself.
Syd Masters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2014, 05:13 PM   #93
jerome_oneil
Human being with feelings
 
jerome_oneil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Seattle
Posts: 5,635
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by franV View Post
Verse 1

OOOOoOOooOOOoeAaaAAaAAaaAAAhHHHhhHheeeEe*EEeEAaAae EEEEEeeEEeE AAaaEeeEeeeaaaaAAaAaaEEeEEoOoOOooOeEEeAA*aAahHHhhh HEeeEeEEEoO ooOOO

That was farkin' awesome.
jerome_oneil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2014, 05:22 PM   #94
Syd Masters
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: gently scraping your delicate sensibilities with a potato peeler
Posts: 6,791
Default

Maybe msore can relate to this one-

Quote:
Amuse yourself into plenty
We can always stand
Surprised to feel kind of empty?
Looking for a helping hand?

oh
Where did it go?
Oh
Did it go?

Lose your sanctuary?
Now you're not so bold
Living the imaginary
You don't feel too cold

oh
Where did it go?
oh
Did it go?

Stars would fall from the sky
And everything was wild
When I was you

But everything about it
Seemed so untrue
When I was you

I feel you passing over
like a telekinetic wave
I feel you coming closer
I just hope your place
was saved

I can reflect your thoughts
and feelings
but you know the lies
I could but see your future
in your
hot and molten eyes

-Me
Syd Masters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2014, 06:15 PM   #95
Tedwood
Human being with feelings
 
Tedwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: South Coast UK
Posts: 14,303
Default

One I have yet to record

We got on a different stations
though worlds apart our paths collide
and we had different destinations
and you said - come inside
how easily it slips from our control
this world ours holds more than we can know

It's over now
we said our last goodbyes
It's over now
can't tell any more lies
goodbye

You put up with my frustrations
my anger and my world of dreams
and you gave me an education
not everything is how it seems
and suddenly you drifted from my hands
I felt an emptyness but
now I understand

It's over now
we said our last goodbyes
It's over now
can't tell any more lies
goodbye
__________________
The grass is greener where it rains
Tedwood is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2014, 07:09 PM   #96
Syd Masters
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: gently scraping your delicate sensibilities with a potato peeler
Posts: 6,791
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msore View Post
And your lyrics are ...


???
What, no smart-ass digs then, Mr. Teacher-of-the-Poetry?

Is that how you run your class? By being a fucking asshole?

No need to answer, we know the truth already.

Back to your Tom-Waits-wanna-be-demon-cave now.

A word of advice: Tom Waits has a few qualities that leave you wanting... He's cool (aka- not an asshole, good luck with that one), he's talented (can't buy it, clone it, replicate, or phone it in), he's authentic (you either are or wish that you had the balls to be), he's wise (sorry, you're out of luck here. Maybe in your next life as a fucking-cock-a-roach?)
Syd Masters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2014, 12:18 AM   #97
Syd Masters
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: gently scraping your delicate sensibilities with a potato peeler
Posts: 6,791
Default

Here's one about loss

Quote:
"Learn to let love lie, "
She said
"And it will lie to you..."
"Learn to give it all you can
and hope for nothing true."

We won't hold on
All ways carry on

Time- erases everything
Just thought you'd like to know
Time- gonna burn all your string
If you'd just let it go

We won't hold on
All ways follow on

-Me
Syd Masters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2014, 08:01 AM   #98
ginormous
Human being with feelings
 
ginormous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Central US
Posts: 467
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by jerome_oneil View Post
"NO ILLEGAL ALIENS"
ginormous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2014, 08:54 AM   #99
msore
Human being with feelings
 
msore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Rafael
Posts: 11,594
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Syd Masters View Post
Here's one about loss
Not that you need or want my approval, syd, but I like that lyric. It has much more 'space' to it than the words alone. Terrifically economical. How did you write it? what was the process from inspiration to final version?
__________________
My religion is all or none.
msore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2014, 07:47 PM   #100
Garrick
Human being with feelings
 
Garrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wellington
Posts: 4,622
Default

good call msore, i like the lyrics as well.

Its like every word was carefully weighed on scales, yes economical and clean.

That's just great isn't it. After a lounge wide fuck you to man woman and child, it turns out that our darling Syd has a black belt in haiku

@Syd, fuck you and the horse you rode in on, and nice lyric.

Edit: all the evening classes i go to on how to be interesting and engaging, you bastard. Its like I'm back to square one and have to redo the introduction tutorial.

Thankfully they have a money back guaranty.

Last edited by Garrick; 11-27-2014 at 07:55 PM.
Garrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2014, 08:59 PM   #101
Syd Masters
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: gently scraping your delicate sensibilities with a potato peeler
Posts: 6,791
Default

This is about bad luck

Quote:
We're going high production
Watch the profile mass induction
And you catch the so vile
See it? I've provide the razor

He 's a black cat farmer
Live it. Welcome to the swarm
And it's at the slo-mile
In it, I'll survive the storm

I'm breaking free
You're breaking me, together
breaking free
I'm breaking me, forever

Don't you act, the wonder
It's the tow that pulls you under
And you can't make the thunder
No
Without the flash of light

He's a black cat farmer
See that out line over yonder
Hope you jump right on the
Instinct that I think you own

meanwhile I'm breaking free
You're breaking me
Together
Breaking free
I'm breaking me
Forever

-Me

Last edited by Syd Masters; 11-27-2014 at 09:17 PM.
Syd Masters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2014, 11:25 PM   #102
Syd Masters
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: gently scraping your delicate sensibilities with a potato peeler
Posts: 6,791
Default

The subject(s) this time around are drugs, perspectives, questionable friendships, and endless loops

Quote:
Seemed such a chore just to exist
So I cross the wires until I'm blissed
Now I'm simply ignorant instead
Instead of pissed

I know that I don't know
Just tap me when it's time to go
A way and away
From all of this cerebral pain

Falling through the illusory assist
Intermittent connections won't be missed
Now you can do as you choose my friend
If you get the gist (and now it's fixed!)

I know that I don't know
Just tap me when it's time to go
A way and away
From all of the surreal pain

Still the experiment persists
So I cut the ties that bind the wrists
Now you can hold on to your world
As long as you wish...

-Me
Syd Masters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2014, 12:22 AM   #103
Syd Masters
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: gently scraping your delicate sensibilities with a potato peeler
Posts: 6,791
Default

The Planet Earth

Quote:
Screwed from the start
We should have been over the rainbow
but we're apart
This little blue ball of pain
feeds on the heart
Like some mad captain, insane,
right off the chart

You don't really know what we mean
About the distance in between
I can't really say much more
Bet you won't guess just what's in store

I got a back and it needs to be broken
so here we go...
It's so great to be on top now
Look out below
Sit back, kick your feet up, relax
And enjoy the show

I got a back and it needs to be broken
so here we go...

-Me
Syd Masters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2014, 01:08 AM   #104
Syd Masters
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: gently scraping your delicate sensibilities with a potato peeler
Posts: 6,791
Default

Someone once said something about a soul

Quote:
Spinning and adrift for so long
It's a miracle you endear
A love could go out but life goes on
You better throw away your fear

You won't die
No, you won't die

Dancing out on the edge again
Afraid to be fallen down
Standing in God's shadow again
This dark goes all around

Believing to be
Believing in me
Seems like believing could be
All I need
And I could believe all the things
You're telling me

that I won't die
No, I won't die
I won't die
No, I won't die

Hey you
Immortal you

-Me
Syd Masters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2014, 04:02 AM   #105
Fex
Human being with feelings
 
Fex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Portsmouth, UK
Posts: 4,376
Default

Cryonic Suspension

Awaken in another time, another place
With an ancient name and a brand new face
That looks the same as yours did fifty years ago,
Or was it fifty thousand?

I've had better days;
I've led better lives.

My friends said "dare take flight, my child,
Walk into the light," but I did not go,
Did not want to know, for I was afeared
Of what might be there.

I've seen many things,
I've dreamed many dreams,
I've led better lives.

Oh, sweet Suzanne,
Come back to me when you can.

-Me, when I was twelve.
Fex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2014, 01:00 PM   #106
msore
Human being with feelings
 
msore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Rafael
Posts: 11,594
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fex View Post
Cryonic Suspension

Awaken in another time, another place
Wow. Dramatic and impactful. Anyone can relate to it. Great lyric from anyone of any age, but amazing at age 12.
__________________
My religion is all or none.
msore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2014, 01:54 PM   #107
Tedwood
Human being with feelings
 
Tedwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: South Coast UK
Posts: 14,303
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fex View Post
Cryonic Suspension

Awaken in another time, another place
With an ancient name and a brand new face
That looks the same as yours did fifty years ago,
Or was it fifty thousand?

I've had better days;
I've led better lives.

My friends said "dare take flight, my child,
Walk into the light," but I did not go,
Did not want to know, for I was afeared
Of what might be there.

I've seen many things,
I've dreamed many dreams,
I've led better lives.

Oh, sweet Suzanne,
Come back to me when you can.

-Me, when I was twelve.
Great!

I wonder what my first lyrics were like. I remember one was about an angel at the top of the stairs - that's all though.
__________________
The grass is greener where it rains
Tedwood is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2014, 09:40 AM   #108
sinbad
Human being with feelings
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: at home
Posts: 1,593
Default

To be or not to be

Toby or not Toby

Moby or Dick

Who’s a prick?
sinbad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2014, 02:55 PM   #109
msore
Human being with feelings
 
msore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Rafael
Posts: 11,594
Default reframing technique

Here is a technique of composition used often in poetry that works in the less abstract world of songwriting. Write about something. Then instead of taking it as plainly being about that something, REFRAME it in other terms. It is a formula for seeing things in new ways.

For example, I took my wife to the doctor, and while she was away, I watched people and wrote things in my notebook about women, how they were dressed up to be seen, and how they wanted their style to be noticed, and how they seemed to be creatures of expression and attention. Then I reframed it, after thinking about how what I wrote could be about me, and used the flashiness of the women to be a metaphor about my poetry. That is, I am flashy, when I write, but not normally.

Another example is when I was writing just about a mood I was in, and it got bombastic and I was saying how I filled the sky and controlled the weather, etc. Which was all rather silly by itself, but then it occured to me to reframe that in a larger story about being locked up for thinking such things.

It came to mind the other day when I watched a film that took the basic elements of the old WESTERN, and placed all of that in a new and odd setting, which was the Valley, north of LA. [The film was "Down in the Valley" with Edward Norton and David Morse.] The film was rich for its reframing of old themes in modern suburban SoCal culture.

Fex's lyric above does that sort of thing, putting the reader in one context - cryogenics or timelessness - and then at the end reframing it to a lost love theme.

Elizabeth Bishop has a great poem that describes sitting in her garden, as if she were there, and then the reframing comes and you realize that she has come BACK to the place, experiencing it as it was in her mind, forty years before.

Bruce Springsteen did this kind of dancing back and forth between contexts. Most of the songs on Darkness on the Edge of Town (like 'Promised Land' and the title song) present you with a straight-ahead picture of life in some town, working in a factory, racing cars, etc ... but then you realize by the time you get to the end of the song that he was really talking about the mind - about how life gets cooped up and you wanna explode.

It is how good writers like Willie Dixon did innuendo songs (like Spoonful).

It happens often when song starts out being positive, but ends up singing the blues, as with Tom Waits (I'll Take New York).

One way in which reframing is well used is when verses in a song have what seems to be a certain tone, but then the chorus has a very different tone and you are forced to reinterpet the verses.

Lyric writers might want to play with this technique, see what happens.
__________________
My religion is all or none.
msore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2014, 05:09 PM   #110
Fex
Human being with feelings
 
Fex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Portsmouth, UK
Posts: 4,376
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msore View Post
Fex's lyric above does that sort of thing, putting the reader in one context - cryogenics or timelessness - and then at the end reframing it to a lost love theme.
And the best thing (although you have to be me to appreciate it) is that it absolutely doesn't.

There was a 2000 AD story about cryonics or voluntary euthanasia.... I can't remember, but it was something like, advances in medical technology have made everyone immortal, more-or-less, but when you've done enough living, you can go to a nice rooftop garden where they gently whack you. The process itself is call Suzanne.

He's not missing his lost love at all; he's missing the silent solace of death.

I was writing complete shit for three years before I wrote that song, and I've been writing complete shit ever since....
Fex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2014, 05:11 PM   #111
msore
Human being with feelings
 
msore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Rafael
Posts: 11,594
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fex View Post
And the best thing (though you have to be me to appreciate it) is that it absolutely doesn't.

There was a 2000 AD story about cryonics or voluntary euthanasia.... I can't remember, but it was something like, advances in medical technology have made everyone immortal, more-or-less, but when you've done enough living, you can go to a nice rooftop garden where they gently whack you. The process itself is call Suzanne.

He's not missing his lost love at all; he's missing the silent solace of death.

I was writing complete shit for three years before I wrote that song, and I've been writing complete shit ever since....
Interesting. Well if your story is like that, then I don't have as much fascination with the lyric. If there was a love named Suzanne, wouldn't that be more interesting? A mashup of tech and passion?
__________________
My religion is all or none.
msore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2014, 05:42 PM   #112
Fex
Human being with feelings
 
Fex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Portsmouth, UK
Posts: 4,376
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msore View Post
If there was a love named Suzanne, wouldn't that be more interesting? A mashup of tech and passion?
No, because you wouldn't have known that there wasn't if I hadn't have told you.
Fex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2014, 05:44 PM   #113
msore
Human being with feelings
 
msore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Rafael
Posts: 11,594
Default

What are you talking about?

I am trying to suggest that a song lyric that brings together two contexts (in this case love and death) is going to be more generally appealing and strong to audiences who know something about love and death, than a lyric where people are given the name "suzanne" but are not told that suzanne is not a woman. A lyric that appeals on two levels, or mixes two contexts, is generally going to have more appeal than a straight one-level lyric.

Right?

Or is this what you are trying to say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fex View Post
I was writing complete shit for three years before I wrote that song, and I've been writing complete shit ever since....
__________________
My religion is all or none.
msore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2014, 05:57 PM   #114
Fex
Human being with feelings
 
Fex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Portsmouth, UK
Posts: 4,376
Default

LOL.... What are you trying to say? That an audience will find the lyric less appealing because I know that Suzanne isn't a woman.... even if the audience is not told that?

No, the lyric is what it is, and the assumptions people make about it are just as they should be!

And yes, lyrics that merge paradigms are much more interesting. I just enjoy the fact that mine, secretly, doesn't.

Bored now....

Moon Cakes

You know, I think too much, and I've been thinking to myself
About how everybody eats everybody else,
Because the people eat the pigs and the pigs eat the meeces
And the meeces eat the seeds and the seeds eat the soil,

And I'm sittin' here a-thinkin' all the things a-thinkin' in me
While the cats eat the bats and the bats eat the birds
And the birds eat the worms a-squirmin' in the earth,
And the earth. Eats. Everything.

Everything.

And everyone is food for the moon.

And I'm sittin' here a-thinkin' all the things a-thinkin' in me
While the big fish eat the small fish, the small fish eat the minnows
And the minnows eat the seaweed a-teemin' in the sea,
And the sea. Eats. Everything.

Oh, yeah.

And everyone is food for the moon.
Fex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2014, 02:48 PM   #115
msore
Human being with feelings
 
msore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Rafael
Posts: 11,594
Default

I listened to Olu Dara this morning. He does very simple songs lyrically, surrounded by music that is harmonically simple, but very layered, funky and groovy. The first song on the album is about eating. Strawberries. Okra. Corn, etc. Another song is boldly simple, about a "Rainshower".

The extremely simple can be done well.

Hey Fex, sorry if I wrongly transferred some frustration on you last night. Of course how you see your lyric is not how others see it.
__________________
My religion is all or none.
msore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2014, 03:41 PM   #116
Fex
Human being with feelings
 
Fex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Portsmouth, UK
Posts: 4,376
Default

No problem. I can dish it out, and I can take it.
Fex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2014, 09:49 AM   #117
msore
Human being with feelings
 
msore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Rafael
Posts: 11,594
Default Euro way??

From your viewpoint, and other europeans, what could be said about differences between American songwriting (lyrics) and European? Then there is the world of English songwriting (another thread).

For example, I love the way Bjork writes, but she might be exceptional, in her impressionistic, emotive, mythical and moderately repetitive lyric-writing. Another writer who is rater like that - catch phrases, bluesy refrains, concerned with personal things - is Paolo deConte ('gelato a limon'). But maybe he is more American than European. I don't know, but am curious.
__________________
My religion is all or none.
msore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2014, 12:38 PM   #118
Fex
Human being with feelings
 
Fex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Portsmouth, UK
Posts: 4,376
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msore View Post
From your viewpoint, and other europeans, what could be said about differences between American songwriting (lyrics) and European?
I really wouldn't like to generalise about either, TBH, since there are such cultural differences from US state to US state and from European nation to European nation. I don't know much about European lyrics, because I don't speak any other European languages, and don't listen to much vocal music that isn't in the English language, which is most of it, in Europe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by msore View Post
For example, I love the way Bjork writes, but she might be exceptional, in her impressionistic, emotive, mythical and moderately repetitive lyric-writing.
She's certainly exceptional. She's sort of adopted European (I believe she lives in London), but she's Icelandic, and Iceland is really a law unto itself. Iceland didn't apply for EU membership until 2009. I think of it as Scandinavian, even though it's not. EU membership aside, Nordic is, somehow, a separate cultural identity from European, in the same sense that Texas has a separate cultural identity to Tennesee. Even as Nordic goes, Iceland is a law unto itself, and even as Iceland goes, Bjork is a law unto herself....
Fex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2014, 03:46 AM   #119
Fex
Human being with feelings
 
Fex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Portsmouth, UK
Posts: 4,376
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bikerider View Post
And none of us are like the Americans. Don't dare say we are. We get right uppity about that.
Some Canadians are delightfully easy to wind up. I don't say you're like Americans. I say you are Americans.

Well, you are. I'm European, apparently. What continent are you from?

Also, you're British. No, no... if you've got the queen's head on your money, you're British.

Consistently referring to the nation as 'Canadia' seems to be quite effective, too....
Fex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2014, 01:25 AM   #120
Jorgen
Human being with feelings
 
Jorgen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Posts: 5,465
Default

Syd, you're a killer... I have always feared you.
Jorgen is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:36 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.