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08-03-2017, 12:29 PM
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#1
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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Can i have some feedback for a new track of mine?
Last edited by OPI; 08-06-2017 at 04:03 AM.
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08-03-2017, 02:47 PM
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#2
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 976
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Nice. Got a laidback Emancipator / Tor vibe going on. I really liked the flute or w/e that peeked through around 1:33 and again near the end, just the two times.
Re: Production
The guitar seems to have some inconsistencies in volume on the breakdown, not sure if that's an intentional sidechain compression thing, just your guitar playing style, or what, but it was noticeable to me.
Re: Arrangement / artistic
Disclaimer: the following is IIWMS - if it were my song
I'd have added some higher harmonies/countermelodies on the guitar line on the 3rd and 4th repeats, G/F#/G at the 12th and 11th frets specifically.
ergh, there's more, but my lunch break is over. short version me like
Edit:
Gave it a listen at home again. After reading others' comments, personally I like the kick's thump. Listening on Klipsch ProMedia 2.1 if that matters.
I like how the acoustic palm mutes sneak into the breakdown, which then breaks down further and sets up the reintroduction.
I don't like the kick fill at said reintroduction. IIWMS, I'd introduce a harder snare here throughout most of the rest of the song. The breakdown and buildup is nice but doesn't pay off as much as I'd like. So I'd do maybe a 4 with a snare, a higher pitched snare than what you've got now, and keep that one going. A couple songs that I'd reference are Royksopp Monument - The Inevitable End version, and Solar Fields' Summer.
Having said that, the way you have it is a bit more laidback and subtle, and it seems like that's what you're going for.
Last edited by Reason; 08-03-2017 at 08:04 PM.
Reason: edited stuff
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08-03-2017, 05:15 PM
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#3
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,899
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I thought there was a nice balance going on until 1:15 when the bass synth came it. Opposite from what I commented in a prev reply, I felt it was a bit loud proportionally. Everything except the kick seemed to drop low. I think I'm hearing the same thing Reason said in his "Production" statement. Other than that, I think it sounds great.
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08-03-2017, 06:34 PM
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#4
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,595
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Listened a few times because it was so peaceful. KRK V6 monitors here, treated room.
No critique other than to say that at times the low end felt too strong. Sam mentioned 1:15 in that regard and I hear it as well.
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08-03-2017, 06:56 PM
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#5
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 167
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I tend to agree with prev posters about the low end. For me listening on my headphones the kick was a bit too overbearing. Instead of complimenting the other stuff it kind of took over the song. The rest i thought sounded very good. I loved the lows on the long bass drop at 1:52!
My only other very small nitpick is that the main stereo acoustic part got a little boring in its spacing/panning. Maybe some autopanning or alternating l and r back and forth could make it more interesting.
Sam
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08-03-2017, 07:35 PM
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#6
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: 'straya
Posts: 9,409
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Pretty cool ambient there Luke, maybe some extra solo inst could play a few licks over the repeating figure at the start but it's fine mood music as it is.
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08-04-2017, 03:02 AM
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#7
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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can you listen to the new version here? - https://soundcloud.com/lukeswansonmusic/new-v2/s-4fBw9
reason : Re: Production
'The guitar seems to have some inconsistencies in volume on the breakdown, not sure if that's an intentional sidechain compression thing, just your guitar playing style, or what, but it was noticeable to me.'
Yeah the sidechain was a little heavy on that part. Adjusted.
'Re: Arrangement / artistic
Disclaimer: the following is IIWMS - if it were my song
I'd have added some higher harmonies/countermelodies on the guitar line on the 3rd and 4th repeats, G/F#/G at the 12th and 11th frets specifically.'
Unfortunately i sold my guitar after i made this so no adding guitar parts
'I don't like the kick fill at said reintroduction. IIWMS, I'd introduce a harder snare here throughout most of the rest of the song. The breakdown and buildup is nice but doesn't pay off as much as I'd like'
I agree , adjusted
Thanks for the help just your comment alone helped alot. And thanks for listening
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08-04-2017, 03:05 AM
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#8
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sammydix
I thought there was a nice balance going on until 1:15 when the bass synth came it. Opposite from what I commented in a prev reply, I felt it was a bit loud proportionally. Everything except the kick seemed to drop low. I think I'm hearing the same thing Reason said in his "Production" statement. Other than that, I think it sounds great.
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Seems my bass was being sent to a parallel track and didnt know it!
https://soundcloud.com/lukeswansonmusic/new-v2/s-4fBw9 heres a new version. Can you check one more time?
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08-04-2017, 03:06 AM
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#9
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sammartin23
I tend to agree with prev posters about the low end. For me listening on my headphones the kick was a bit too overbearing. Instead of complimenting the other stuff it kind of took over the song. The rest i thought sounded very good. I loved the lows on the long bass drop at 1:52!
My only other very small nitpick is that the main stereo acoustic part got a little boring in its spacing/panning. Maybe some autopanning or alternating l and r back and forth could make it more interesting.
Sam
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i tried to mess with the guitars soace a bit but my skills seem not enough. Thanks though for the comment. glad you liked the track
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08-04-2017, 03:06 AM
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#10
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy Lawler
Listened a few times because it was so peaceful. KRK V6 monitors here, treated room.
No critique other than to say that at times the low end felt too strong. Sam mentioned 1:15 in that regard and I hear it as well.
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fixed! https://soundcloud.com/lukeswansonmusic/new-v2/s-4fBw9
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08-04-2017, 06:51 AM
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#11
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morgon
Pretty cool ambient there Luke, maybe some extra solo inst could play a few licks over the repeating figure at the start but it's fine mood music as it is.
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Your comment slipped through the cracks. Thanks morgon. Moody is what i was after i guess. And like i said to another person, i no longer a have a guitar so doing more isnt a possiblity
Edit: Ahh solo inst.... Yeah maybe.
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08-04-2017, 07:55 AM
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#12
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 976
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I was just thinking you had a nice warm guitar tone - what was it? Can I ask why you sold it?
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08-04-2017, 08:02 AM
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#13
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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Martin. Sold it due to bills
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08-04-2017, 08:13 AM
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#14
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 167
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OPI
i tried to mess with the guitars soace a bit but my skills seem not enough. Thanks though for the comment. glad you liked the track
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Maybe i kind of had autopan on the brain as earlier in the day i got an email about a Soundtoys flash sale on an autopanner that looked cool.
http://www.soundtoys.com/product/panman/
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08-04-2017, 08:28 AM
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#15
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,203
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It would be cool with some vocals on this one. Cool tune.
It's friday late afternoon, so I can't give any comments on the mix
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08-04-2017, 01:14 PM
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#16
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,899
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I was about to say, "now the guitar is pumping" in V2, but it was so rhythmic, that I figured it was on purpose. I feel it works regardless.
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08-05-2017, 02:14 AM
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#17
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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https://soundcloud.com/lukeswansonmu...fhabit/s-WguwD
Final version... Hopefully. Has the mix improved? I also added a very subtle piano behind the b parts of the chorus's. along with a few other details...
Last edited by OPI; 08-05-2017 at 03:36 AM.
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08-05-2017, 12:40 PM
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#18
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,595
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Latest version sounds good to me.
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08-05-2017, 01:59 PM
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#19
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Posts: 5,465
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Very listenable and nice melancholy feel. Listening on my laptop, nothing to remark on the sound.
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08-05-2017, 10:32 PM
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#20
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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awesome, thanks for the help tim!
Jorgen, thanks for listening
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08-06-2017, 04:04 AM
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#21
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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Final link in op fixed. Broke somehow..
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08-17-2017, 03:33 AM
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#23
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,595
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OPI
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The reworked intro transports me to a tent while it's gently raining outside. That's a great feeling. Listening further, I'd say the recording is where it should be.
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08-17-2017, 03:41 AM
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#24
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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Awesome
Glad you got great feelings from it. Im always worried about what mainstream thoughts are about intros like this. They all want you to come out with a BANG and mostly i like drawn out intros with feeling and pull to them.
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09-07-2017, 11:30 AM
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#26
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 976
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Hey man I liked that song. Where'd it go?
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09-07-2017, 12:24 PM
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#27
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,900
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