Old 07-09-2019, 04:05 PM   #1
barrymk
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Default Tongue Tied a new song

https://barrykingsbeer.bandcamp.com/releases go to My Ballads...

Recorded as always in Reaper and made with the sterling guitar work of Mikael Sundh (MSundh).

Once again no musical boundaries have been threatened. Feel free to comment, good bad or indifferent as the mood strikes. Cheers BK
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Old 07-09-2019, 04:31 PM   #2
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Hey Basher!

I really like it. Comparing the volume with None the Wiser(which I love)this one needs to come up a few db. I have my pc at full volume(through the earbuds since I just sold my studio monitors).

Apart from that, I like the heartfelt performance and poetic lyrics.

Well done lad.

Best wishes,

SR
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Old 07-09-2019, 07:34 PM   #3
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Always nice to work with you.
Agree on the volume. It's very low.
Cheers
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Old 07-09-2019, 10:31 PM   #4
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Lovely guitar work by the way msundh
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Old 07-10-2019, 07:57 AM   #5
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I have listened and it is nice to work. the volume is low, however I think this song is great...
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Old 07-10-2019, 11:55 AM   #6
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A happy take on unrequited love (classic).
You make constructing this sound easy.That is clever
Comfortable.
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Old 07-10-2019, 12:14 PM   #7
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Thank you one and all. I'm afraid I rushed this onto Bandcamp at 1 o'clock in the morning and hadn't checked on the volume properly. Now I'm back home from the grandkids I'll give some extra dBs. I appreciate the kind comments. Cheers Barry
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Old 07-10-2019, 01:22 PM   #8
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I've replaced with a louder version and added a little sidechain compression to the bass to stop it stomping on parts of the vocal.
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Old 07-10-2019, 07:55 PM   #9
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Well now I can hear it
Maybe the delay on the vocals is a bit too loud.
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Old 07-11-2019, 02:35 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msundh View Post
Well now I can hear it
Maybe the delay on the vocals is a bit too loud.
OK I can tame that a bit Cheers Mikke
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Old 07-13-2019, 06:44 AM   #11
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Easy to sink into. Got that "warm" thing happening.
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Old 07-14-2019, 06:33 AM   #12
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Thanks Sammydix.
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Old 07-14-2019, 02:11 PM   #13
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I like the mood: the songs pulls you into an inward stare/fix with a hit of nostalgia.

The song has a Daniel Lanois (The Maker, example) feel, which is a heck of a compliment in my world

Good vocal track, as usual.
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Old 07-14-2019, 04:21 PM   #14
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Listening to Pirates. Fine singing and guitar work, well recorded and mixed.
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Old 07-15-2019, 12:34 PM   #15
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I am humbled by the compliments I have received. A lot of credit must go to my regular collaborator Mikael Sundh for his excellent guitar work often on music beyond his comfort zone. He always rises to the occasion and adds that finesse that I totally lack on six strings. Wish we could play together live one day! To have fellow musicians from a wide range of genres say they like some or any of my work is a great pleasure.
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Old 07-15-2019, 03:20 PM   #16
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Yep, quality easy listening track, cool arrangement, cheers, to Mikael too.
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Old 07-16-2019, 02:33 AM   #17
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Thanks Morgon. Don't worry about Mikael, the lucky so and so is currently soaking up the sun and beer in Thailand!
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Old 07-16-2019, 03:37 AM   #18
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Now it's two Buddha days, that is no alcohol sold anywhere, but I have prepared for that
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Old 07-16-2019, 04:33 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msundh View Post
Now it's two Buddha days, that is no alcohol sold anywhere, but I have prepared for that
Ah you were a boy scout!
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Old 07-16-2019, 06:52 AM   #20
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Very nicely written and arranged song, as per usual Barry. Not heard a dud from you yet.

I was thinking I'd like to hear some backing vocals to make the end of the song pop. A bit of harmony could be very nice there.

Anyway, when I first saw the title, I thought of this (sorry):

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Old 07-23-2019, 11:01 PM   #21
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"Pirates" right? [edit- no i was totally wrong, duh. anyways this is all about the other track by accident, "Pirates", not tongue tied like the title says]

this is a really good track

Quote:
Originally Posted by barrymk View Post
I've replaced with a louder version and added a little sidechain compression to the bass to stop it stomping on parts of the vocal.
bass is still stomping the vocal on some notes.
try using hammer on all notes which overlap the vocal.
it's also quite loud in the mix, lower it by 4 dB at least. try adjusting the eq as well to shift its power a bit.


great background vocals.


ok more fine grain details...

lets talk sssSSSsssibilance and your word choiccssscceeesssssss

SSSSSSailed the SSSSSSSouthern SSSSSSSeas

I would sing that like,

(s)'ailed the 'outhern (e)'eas

ok next

"fly to torguga" ... you're mixing metaphors, its improper to use Fly when you've just explained they're sailing. pick a better word.


ummm okay what, more alliteration? and more sibilance now with eHHHHhhhhhhhH

Hunters were Hunted Hawks

surely someone with right syllables could ssSSound better? change that line.

Ok then more Flying. But I thought we were sailing. Fix that up again..

Royal retribution ... ok this is starting to be a repetitive alliteration of repetitive alliteration now. This time RRRR, RRRR. are you sure you want to do that?


Solo- the lead guitar should be louder, and lower the rhythm parts. Its ok the lead is sparse, let it be sparse, loud and sparse is great in a ballad.


song title. shouldn't be Pirates since that word is not in the song. Better would be "(___) to Tortuga". because that is the most significant phrase in the first chorus.


how about some frosting. like a sound effect in the intro. could be waves crashing. or maybe make some kind of ship sound with the guitar strings, some kind of string rake or I dont know what.

you could also add some vocal frosting, say boom or something:

AND THE MEN O’ WAR CAME
.... BOOM ... BOOM


One more thing is that the drum cymbals might be too busy in parts. It's a ballad.. the crashes could be hat's. Let the guitars stand out.


Ok thats all for a first pass.
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Old 07-23-2019, 11:36 PM   #22
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lemme fix my mistake and comment on "Tongue Tied" like it says..

very good track
bass is still quite loud.

"SO FAR APART YOU AND MY HEART " - what I hear is excessive TTTTT on the end.
so as the previous post, maybe what you could look into is how to modify phonetics while singing.
it should probably be sung like: "my har..(ut)" probably that's not a good explanation.
Anyway there's some resources out there for this kind of vocal nuance.

great solo.
guitar tone sounds a little off here though.
and the drums are a little too cymbally. Its good that the drums change in the section. Maybe you could add two hats or a hat that goes "1&a" instead of a crash.

This phrase could be whispered for neat effect:
TO SAY WHAT I BELIEVE

this phrase at the end
TO SAY I LOVE YOU
maybe could be improved as: I WANT YOU
mostly to avoid that dreaded "i love you" phrase, and also make the image stronger.

the final phrases on the final lines might be improved with some vocal run.
for example, NIGHT FROM THE DA-AA-AA-YY
this might not be your style, but, try out some variations, it could be good.


Ok thats probably way more than enough from me.
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Old 07-26-2019, 03:32 AM   #23
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superblonde.org
thanks for the blow by blow appraisals. I will respond properly soon but can't type very well post op at the moment. Cheers Barry
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Old 07-26-2019, 05:41 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superblonde.org View Post
great solo.
guitar tone sounds a little off here though.
Agree on the sound, it's too rock'n roll
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