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Old 07-10-2019, 09:08 AM   #1
Dream Of Sleeping
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Default Does this piano idea stand out to you? Before I waste my time on a song no one likes

edit: I apprecate the input, but I don't need anymore replies thank you.

It's just a rough take. The vocal would come in the 3rd time through. This is the kind of dark piano part that really jumps out at me, but it might be I just have weird taste and no one else would give a crap. If you listen, you could just tell me 'yes' if it does stand out to you, or 'no' if it doesn't. It's better than me deluding myself and working on something then being disappointed.

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Old 07-10-2019, 09:23 AM   #2
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Oh man, I'm going to answer hell yes... it's a wonderful start. I especially love the dark tone to it in the beginning, personally.. and a nice transition to a more happier tone later on. I'm interested in hearing whatever final version you come up with. Nice work. Sorry, my ability to put my feelings of a song into words are fairly limited due to a lack of strong music theory, but I definitely like this.

TLDR - Yes.
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Old 07-10-2019, 09:31 AM   #3
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Oh man, I'm going to answer hell yes... it's a wonderful start. I especially love the dark tone to it in the beginning, personally.. and a nice transition to a more happier tone later on. I'm interested in hearing whatever final version you come up with. Nice work. Sorry, my ability to put my feelings of a song into words are fairly limited due to a lack of strong music theory, but I definitely like this.

TLDR - Yes.
Thank you. I really appreciate it. You've definitely made me feel more like it's worth working on.
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Old 07-10-2019, 09:54 AM   #4
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I like it, especially the rhythmic changeup with the triplet phrase just after the midpoint, and the catchy last section that sounded to me a little like Paul McCartney at the piano.
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Old 07-10-2019, 10:34 AM   #5
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As long as you craft to avoid sounding like you seek praise from talent show judgment panels then it's a yes from me.
Interesting/musical piano composition.



edit - after reflecting on these words set in troubling internet stone I add this -


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Old 07-10-2019, 10:50 AM   #6
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I like it, especially the rhythmic changeup with the triplet phrase just after the midpoint, and the catchy last section that sounded to me a little like Paul McCartney at the piano.
Thank you. I appreciate the feedback.
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Old 07-10-2019, 10:51 AM   #7
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As long as you craft to avoid sounding like you seek praise from talent show judgment panels then it's a yes from me.
Interesting/musical piano composition.
Thanks. I doubt it anyone will be invite me to audition for X-Factor after it!
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Old 07-10-2019, 12:03 PM   #8
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Thank you. I really appreciate it. You've definitely made me feel more like it's worth working on.
Gladly...

One piece of free, unsolicited advice though.. as long as you have some sort of connection to the song, it's worth doing, IMO. I suppose you could also say that there's billions of people in this world, and of course your opinion on music will be different than many, but it won't be unique.. if you like it, many others will. But really, even so, I think if you feel a connection, it's worth doing no matter who wants to hear it. No song is something everyone wants to hear, but I think this is on its way to being a song that many would love listening to though. It actually kind of reminds me of soundtrack music in some Indie video games I like to play (which is a compliment, as I can't stop listening to some of those).

I've already listened to it 5 or 6 times!
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Old 07-10-2019, 12:18 PM   #9
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Gladly...

One piece of free, unsolicited advice though.. as long as you have some sort of connection to the song, it's worth doing, IMO. I suppose you could also say that there's billions of people in this world, and of course your opinion on music will be different than many, but it won't be unique.. if you like it, many others will. But really, even so, I think if you feel a connection, it's worth doing no matter who wants to hear it. No song is something everyone wants to hear, but I think this is on its way to being a song that many would love listening to though. It actually kind of reminds me of soundtrack music in some Indie video games I like to play (which is a compliment, as I can't stop listening to some of those).

I've already listened to it 5 or 6 times!
I know you're right.

Hopefully when I add vocals it won't spoil it for you!
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Old 07-10-2019, 12:24 PM   #10
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Haha, well I'll give honest feedback if that is the case. Like I said, interested to hear where this goes though!
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Old 07-10-2019, 01:09 PM   #11
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...as long as you have some sort of connection to the song, it's worth doing... if you feel a connection, it's worth doing...
I like that! Reminds me of the saying, "a bird sings because it has a song". I have music in me that needs to be played. If others like it, great. But that comes second.

That bird, though, would no doubt be as self-critical as we all tend to be if it was recording itself, heh.
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Old 07-10-2019, 01:17 PM   #12
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That bird, though, would no doubt be as self-critical as we all tend to be if it was recording itself, heh.
LOL, yes it would!
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Old 07-10-2019, 01:35 PM   #13
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I think you're onto something quite good.

It'll be interesting to see where it goes and how it resolves.

Good work! Keep going!

Best wishes,

SR
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Old 07-10-2019, 02:45 PM   #14
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Like the tune and chords and all.
Dislike the little pauses when the chord changes. (Maybe just lack of rehearsal and manageable, though.)

-Michael
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Old 07-10-2019, 02:54 PM   #15
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Like the tune and chords and all.
Dislike the little pauses when the chord changes. (Maybe just lack of rehearsal and manageable, though.)

-Michael
Yes those pauses are too long. It's midi, so I think I might just keep this take and edit it tomorrow because apart from the pauses this is pretty close to how I was imagining it.
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Old 07-10-2019, 02:54 PM   #16
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I think you're onto something quite good.

It'll be interesting to see where it goes and how it resolves.

Good work! Keep going!

Best wishes,

SR
Thank you.
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Old 07-10-2019, 08:42 PM   #17
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FWIW, I think the pauses are good.. adds a little feeling/expression to me. I'm wondering if it would sound a bit too robotic / programmed without that. Worth a try without though, to see what it sounds like, but don't be afraid to leave them in either. Possibly even experiment with less pauses. By that I don't mean shorter pauses, I mean take one or two out and see if it sounds any better. Could vary the lengths on them (individually) to see how it sounds too. I personally like it as is though.

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Old 07-10-2019, 10:20 PM   #18
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Yes those pauses are too long.
IMHO there should not be any pauses at these positions at all, as they produce a feeling of "buggy" rather than "emotional".

I don't want to say the performance should not be "without time", but the feeling to be transported by this IMHO needs a complete overhaul of the actual note positions all over the place (i.e. dedicated "humanizing" the timing envelope).

(In fact I have a background in Jazz not in classics.)

-Michael
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Old 07-10-2019, 11:42 PM   #19
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Goddamn trained musicians ruining all the fun! How do you know where the pauses are meant to be if the piece doesnt seem to conform to a stiff tempo? I'd never notice the pauses because tempo is kinda free running right from the beginning. But gotta admit, I'm probably quite used to music made by amateurs.

(I like the bit BTW, fits OPs rain-ier moments)
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Old 07-11-2019, 12:44 AM   #20
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IMHO there should not be any pauses at these positions at all, as they produce a feeling of "buggy" rather than "emotional".

I don't want to say the performance should not be "without time", but the feeling to be transported by this IMHO needs a complete overhaul of the actual note positions all over the place (i.e. dedicated "humanizing" the timing envelope).

(In fact I have a background in Jazz not in classics.)

-Michael
I always have to edit all my piano parts. Here is just the beginning after it's been edited. Let me know if this is distracting for you. I want to keep the ebb and flow, and there is a small pause before it comes with the lower notes, but I think, for me at least I've removed the mistakes.

https://soundcloud.com/beforeawarene...o-edited-intro

I have to be careful not to over do this edting, because it can start sounding too robotic very quickly.
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Old 07-11-2019, 12:45 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by mschnell View Post
IMHO there should not be any pauses at these positions at all, as they produce a feeling of "buggy" rather than "emotional".

I don't want to say the performance should not be "without time", but the feeling to be transported by this IMHO needs a complete overhaul of the actual note positions all over the place (i.e. dedicated "humanizing" the timing envelope).

(In fact I have a background in Jazz not in classics.)

-Michael
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Originally Posted by zeekat View Post
Goddamn trained musicians ruining all the fun! How do you know where the pauses are meant to be if the piece doesnt seem to conform to a stiff tempo? I'd never notice the pauses because tempo is kinda free running right from the beginning. But gotta admit, I'm probably quite used to music made by amateurs.

(I like the bit BTW, fits OPs rain-ier moments)
Thanks. Here is an edited version of the very beginning. I think this sounds nice balance between being free and not getting rid of the distracting bits. https://soundcloud.com/beforeawarene...o-edited-intro
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Old 07-11-2019, 06:34 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by Dream Of Sleeping View Post
https://soundcloud.com/beforeawarene...o-edited-intro

I have to be careful not to over do this editing, because it can start sounding too robotic very quickly.
I do like this a lot better, small voluntary pauses and tempo fluctuation make it not sound robotic.

I feel some velocity variation would add another level of emotion.

Something else I personally would do is add a semitone pre-note here and there.

-Michael
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Old 07-11-2019, 12:07 PM   #23
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Sounds very cinematic to me. Like it's a piece of a film score.

Keep working at it. Sometimes we receive compositions fully formed, other times we get them in bits. The latter is always tougher. "If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." You kinda have to just keep going and see where it leads.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:18 AM   #24
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I'm sold
very worthwhile piece of music
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Old 07-21-2019, 11:30 AM   #25
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how is it different from what has been written before 10,000 times?

what is the intended song form?
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Old 07-21-2019, 01:48 PM   #26
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how is it different from what has been written before 10,000 times?

what is the intended song form?
It is not finished yet.

All music is derivative. Its the way it is delivered that can be quite original.
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Old 07-21-2019, 02:01 PM   #27
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It is not finished yet.
ok so you're writing it ad hoc.

it doesn't stand out to me.
it needs for example, repetition of section(s) aka develop the idea then it will stand out to the ear.
i dont find anything wrong with the rests. as long as they're part of the idea, though. and in that case, they are like a type of dissonance.

otherwise, it's more like 2 separate exercises, like practice parts for piano, stuck together.

"how is it different from what has been written before 10,000 times? "

that was my attempt to ask if the music is supposed to have some interesting artistic intent. like: 'what are you trying to do here?'
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Old 07-21-2019, 10:00 PM   #28
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https://soundcloud.com/beforeawareness/piano

It's just a rough take. The vocal would come in the 3rd time through. This is the kind of dark piano part that really jumps out at me, but it might be I just have weird taste and no one else would give a crap. If you listen, you could just tell me 'yes' if it does stand out to you, or 'no' if it doesn't. It's better than me deluding myself and working on something then being disappointed.
I think your piano song can great potential.

In fact, when I listened to it I started singing in my head. So, I got the microphone out and recorded a vocal track. Just for fun.

I wrote some simple lyrics and a long drawing melody as AN EXAMPLE of what I think works with a piano track like yours.

Here is what I came up with:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ixb...ew?usp=sharing

I hope my vocal melody will inspire you to continue and do something great; this song has potential.

Last edited by RDBOIS; 07-22-2019 at 12:53 PM.
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Old 07-23-2019, 04:10 AM   #29
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I think your piano song can great potential.

In fact, when I listened to it I started singing in my head. So, I got the microphone out and recorded a vocal track. Just for fun.

I wrote some simple lyrics and a long drawing melody as AN EXAMPLE of what I think works with a piano track like yours.

Here is what I came up with:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ixb...ew?usp=sharing

I hope my vocal melody will inspire you to continue and do something great; this song has potential.
What the fuck? Please delete this. I didn't ask anyone to stick their singing over my music.
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Old 07-23-2019, 04:13 AM   #30
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Sorry. That was an overreaction. I tend to be a bit funny about my own songs. I've had experience of someone putting their vocals on my music and posting it as their own on soundcloud. Thank you for the encouragement.
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Old 07-23-2019, 04:14 AM   #31
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how is it different from what has been written before 10,000 times?

what is the intended song form?
To me the chord progession is very nice and would stand out at me. I'm glad you said this. If it's just going to be perceived as nothing special there is no point wasting my time on it. I'm not really that into making music anymore anyway.
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Old 07-23-2019, 04:30 AM   #32
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Also can we just let this thread fall to the bottom now. I appreciate the input, but I'm too depressed to make music nowadays anyway. I don't think I'll be back to check any more replies.
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Old 07-23-2019, 04:42 AM   #33
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Eh, people think your music is worth stealing. This is a seal of quality.
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Old 07-23-2019, 06:54 PM   #34
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Sorry. That was an overreaction. I tend to be a bit funny about my own songs. I've had experience of someone putting their vocals on my music and posting it as their own on soundcloud. Thank you for the encouragement.
I will delete it.
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Old 07-23-2019, 10:55 PM   #35
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I will delete it.
Silly

-Michael
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Old 07-24-2019, 03:10 PM   #36
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Silly

-Michael
I see his point, he never asked to us to suggest melodic ideas. For his it appeared as theft of his work, because after all I did upload his song as a track in Reaper to add a melodic example.

I was working under the idea that, to prove that his song was not "a waste of his time that no one likes", I would arrange a melodic track as a demonstration that his song has full of potential.

I should of asked before doing it, my bad :S

I like to give concrete examples of my impressions. Simply saying: "you song would lend well to a vocal melody" doesn't seem as powerful as, say, actually providing a real example.

What I learned it that I should ask before doing such a thing.
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Old 07-24-2019, 10:14 PM   #37
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You will probably tell me to mind my own business but...
Never not go through with an idea.
Even if it does not appeal to others you may need to get it out of your system
You may get other ideas from it
You may actually enthrall others with it
and mostly it always is learning.
More after this lot off course just don't wish to bore you!

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Old 07-25-2019, 12:48 AM   #38
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I see his point, he never asked to us to suggest melodic ideas. For his it appeared as theft of his work, because after all I did upload his song as a track in Reaper to add a melodic example.
In fact you did a kind of "Cover" which is perfectly common with music pieces.

As long as you post an acknowledgement to the original composer with your work, i don't see that anybody should feel like complain. In fact soundcloud is full with covers.

-Michael

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Old 07-25-2019, 12:59 AM   #39
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... just don't wish to bore you!
Not boring us at all, but I in fact don't understand your wording .
-Michael

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Old 07-25-2019, 03:16 AM   #40
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Just my sense of humour mschnell the " boring" bit.
I meant no harm.

I find it hard to explain things in small short terms
For me if there is one road that means there are a trillion roads.
If you have one idea there are a million other ideas in that one ideas
rather like if you magnify your finger you will find new universes in
that magnification.
Music for me is no different one idea can mean offshoots of discoveries.

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