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09-22-2017, 06:36 AM
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#2
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 11,044
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That's a really well-crafted song.
You know what I was thinking while I was listening to it? That some subtle percussion - shakers/tambourine - would accentuate the rhythm changes nicely. Or maybe bringing the drums up would have the same effect...
EDIT: lots of great stuff on your soundcloud. You're a talented songwriter!
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09-22-2017, 06:51 AM
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#3
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Judders
That's a really well-crafted song.
You know what I was thinking while I was listening to it? That some subtle percussion - shakers/tambourine - would accentuate the rhythm changes nicely. Or maybe bringing the drums up would have the same effect...
EDIT: lots of great stuff on your soundcloud. You're a talented songwriter!
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Thank you. I'm listening to your stuff now. It's really inventive. I like it a lot.
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09-22-2017, 08:21 AM
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#4
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 167
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I liked it quite a bit. Especially the intro the way you brought in the drums and the bass. There are parts of this song that have fantastic meaningful lyrics. The 2nd verse is great with the "all of life's stages to decimal places". Really like that line. Also the chorus is very well written. Sound quality wise on my headphones, it sounds great, I really have no complaints. Well done, well played, and well sung!
Sam
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09-22-2017, 09:32 AM
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#5
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,194
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Great pop!
The arrangement could be more varied, almost the same until 2:50. Maybe vary the singing style a tiny bit.
The vocals doesn't get through, it could (should) be more present.
I bet it's difficult to have power when singing this kind of song.
But still, everything else is great.
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09-22-2017, 10:09 AM
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#6
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sammartin23
I liked it quite a bit. Especially the intro the way you brought in the drums and the bass. There are parts of this song that have fantastic meaningful lyrics. The 2nd verse is great with the "all of life's stages to decimal places". Really like that line. Also the chorus is very well written. Sound quality wise on my headphones, it sounds great, I really have no complaints. Well done, well played, and well sung!
Sam
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Thanks so much for the feedback.
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09-22-2017, 10:15 AM
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#7
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msundh
Great pop!
The arrangement could be more varied, almost the same until 2:50. Maybe vary the singing style a tiny bit.
The vocals doesn't get through, it could (should) be more present.
I bet it's difficult to have power when singing this kind of song.
But still, everything else is great.
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Thank you very much, I appreciate the constructive criticism.
As for the vocal level, well that was tricky. I'm not saying I've got it perfect but I've got it as close as I can get it for now until my skills improve with time. I was really trying to keep the fullness of my voice, inspired by radiohead (Jigsaw Falling Into Place). I didn't want to cut it all out to make it brighter. But of course that makes it harder to carve space.
I'm pretty happy with the arrangement. There are lots of subtle instrumention that come in. But having said that, perhaps I could have added vocal harmonies to give it a lift.
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09-23-2017, 08:56 AM
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#8
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,259
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Nice laid-back indie vibe! Could easily see this in any of the Indie films I've watched in the last month. Lyrics are spectacular! Really like this => "It's been a while since I Blew a kiss and missed by a mile".
Looking through prior comments, I echo msundh's thoughts on the arrangement and vocals being a little subdued - both from a mix and performance perspective. But what you interject, vocally, at 2:43 is great! Just wished that happened a little more, and a little sooner. Now, having said that - I realize I normally work in genres that require, often demand, extreme inflection in the voice. So, it's completely possible I'm off the mark here. The concept of 'less is more' has eluded me for years!
Great effort! Keep em' coming!
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09-23-2017, 09:05 AM
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#9
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mschuster
Nice laid-back indie vibe! Could easily see this in any of the Indie films I've watched in the last month. Lyrics are spectacular! Really like this => "It's been a while since I Blew a kiss and missed by a mile".
Looking through prior comments, I echo msundh's thoughts on the arrangement and vocals being a little subdued - both from a mix and performance perspective. But what you interject, vocally, at 2:43 is great! Just wished that happened a little more, and a little sooner. Now, having said that - I realize I normally work in genres that require, often demand, extreme inflection in the voice. So, it's completely possible I'm off the mark here. The concept of 'less is more' has eluded me for years!
Great effort! Keep em' coming!
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Thanks. I may re record vocals in a few weeks and try and liven them up a bit.
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09-23-2017, 09:33 AM
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#10
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,892
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The first comment said it best: so well crafted.
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09-23-2017, 12:17 PM
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#11
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sammydix
The first comment said it best: so well crafted.
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Thank you very much.
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09-24-2017, 01:12 PM
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#12
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 360
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New mix on my soundcloud now. I think I got the vocal level a bit better this time.
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09-25-2017, 05:28 AM
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#13
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 49
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Really great song, I love the build at the end.
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09-25-2017, 12:05 PM
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#14
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,595
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I like everything about this.
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09-25-2017, 12:25 PM
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#15
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartolla Rockarolla
Really great song, I love the build at the end.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy Lawler
I like everything about this.
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Thanks so much!
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09-26-2017, 11:21 AM
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#16
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Norfolk UK
Posts: 1,351
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Oh! liked this a lot.
I dont mean this in any way pejoratively but it has a very appealing 'loosness' to my ears - hard to describe and harder to achieve.
I am so jealous of your voice
Need more please
__________________
Windows 10 Pro. Intel i7 3400ghz. 16GB Ram. Focusrite Scarlett 8i6. Reaper 64.
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09-27-2017, 12:21 AM
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#17
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RobertP
Oh! liked this a lot.
I dont mean this in any way pejoratively but it has a very appealing 'loosness' to my ears - hard to describe and harder to achieve.
I am so jealous of your voice
Need more please
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Thank you. Maybe I over did the humanization of the drums. haha
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09-27-2017, 05:38 AM
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#18
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Human being with feelings
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 947
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Very nice song Mr. Dream. I enjoyed it. Has some nice production details. Also reminds me kind of some of that 90s Brit pop like Blur.
cheers
__________________
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