Old 05-15-2019, 09:52 AM   #1
morgon
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Default City Life

Any comments appreciated, the percussion needs some sorting but otherwise the performance is pretty much done fwiw.
Ist version

https://soundcloud.com/user-750395062/citylife-25

2nd version to be posted soon

Last edited by morgon; 05-18-2019 at 07:46 AM.
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Old 05-17-2019, 09:11 AM   #2
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There is a good song and arrangement in there, but the performances need practice. Has a sort of feel of the Rolling Stones. It's a fun tune that would be tons better with lots of tightening up.
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:02 PM   #3
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Yeah, timing is kinda avantgarde. Makes it sound like it's edited off not quite fitting elements.
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:32 PM   #4
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Thanks guys, I'm using 39/47 time sig on some of that, didn't always come off, so, avante garde it is, or maybe I'lI round it out a bit.

I record RG tracks often within 5 minutes of messing around with an idea, so that gives an idea why I end up with timing issues here and there, cheers.
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Old 05-17-2019, 04:24 PM   #5
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Gotta echo the others and what bwreck said is *exactly* what I thought: this could be a REALLY great song if tightened up. Makes me think of early Bowie.
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Old 05-17-2019, 04:44 PM   #6
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Ronson era Bowie...something? I also notice that.
Les Paul sound/playstyle? (the guitar I see in your avatar?)
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Old 05-18-2019, 12:58 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morgon View Post
Thanks guys, I'm using 39/47 time sig on some of that, didn't always come off, so, avante garde it is, or maybe I'lI round it out a bit.

I record RG tracks often within 5 minutes of messing around with an idea, so that gives an idea why I end up with timing issues here and there, cheers.
No need to rush it. Nothing is half completed without obligatory three week period of obsessive tracking, retracking, mixing, remixing and waking up one day and noticing you hate everything and starting over (mixdown25_bass-3.5db_doubled_guitars_less_hihats_alt_ver14.wav). There are people that can put together a coherent tune instantly, but that's not the most of us I guess.
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Old 05-18-2019, 02:22 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sammydix View Post
Gotta echo the others and what bwreck said is *exactly* what I thought: this could be a REALLY great song if tightened up. Makes me think of early Bowie.
Thanks Sammy, the timing got untidy after arrangement changes mostly, after a while I guess I didn't hear it but I've gone through and counted out the beat [which of course should mainly be just syncopated 4/4 and sometimes 2/4] Anyways I've tightened up and fixed drums and bass today, I'll post version 2 in a day or so, cheers.
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Old 05-18-2019, 02:29 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prom View Post
Ronson era Bowie...something? I also notice that.
Les Paul sound/playstyle? (the guitar I see in your avatar?)
Yep, black Les Paul Custom, not the one in the avatar but the same.

I read somewhere on the net that Ronson sold such a guitar in 1979 to a Sydney music store owner. I bought mine second hand in 79-80 from such a store in Sydney so who knows? ha. Thanks for your comments.
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Old 05-18-2019, 02:43 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zeekat View Post
No need to rush it. Nothing is half completed without obligatory three week period of obsessive tracking, retracking, mixing, remixing and waking up one day and noticing you hate everything and starting over (mixdown25_bass-3.5db_doubled_guitars_less_hihats_alt_ver14.wav). There are people that can put together a coherent tune instantly, but that's not the most of us I guess.
But that's why I track really soon after I get the idea, trying to capture some enthusiasm, but bc it's not really played to a grid it can get messy with arrangements changing. iow I sometimes don't just record early, I'm banging out chords and writing the song on the fly, but that sometimes needs a bit of patience tidying up.

Thanks for commenting ZK, you guys spurred me into action on it, version 2 posted here soon.
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Old 05-18-2019, 02:15 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morgon View Post
bought mine second hand in 79-80 from such a store in Sydney so who knows? ha.
Well that is quite a thought to have lurking in the back of ones mind when composing with and performing with that guitar.

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Old 05-18-2019, 06:59 PM   #12
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Vocals too loud during the quiet parts and the drums are way out of time. There's cool and catchy stuff but it's really uneven, mostly due to the wonky drums. Or maybe if you quantize the different drum elements to different increments? It just sounds like a lot of them chose the wrong beat to quantize to.

I'd remove the drums and find a drummer who'll record a similar. It's a worthwhile song, so I think you can easily attract a collaborator.

I'd help you out but I'm not a great drummer so it would take me too long.

Maybe try some automation on the vox to even it out a bit? I agree the cool parts of the music sound very Bowie. Sorry if I'm too critcal, but it's a cool track, so keep going!
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Old 05-19-2019, 09:09 AM   #13
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a bit redundant, but concur with most of the previous comments. great song, keeping working on it! will look for ver 2.0!
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Old 05-19-2019, 01:44 PM   #14
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Fix it!

Came to see if V2 was up, and listened again. There's such a good tune underneath that "abstractness".
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Old 05-19-2019, 04:48 PM   #15
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Those vocals are LOUD! I would work on that. And the stereo field feels very mono. If it was me, I would have 2 guitar tracks and pan them left and right. Not hard pans. But some rock n roll space.
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Old 05-20-2019, 11:46 AM   #16
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Thanks all, the main issue has been the gtr trks which were kind of written on the fly were too loose for the drums to zone in coherently,

I'm usually good at getting gtr stuff down first take if I know more what I'm trying to do. Anyways it won't take much longer, it's way better now already, version 2 posted in the quite near future.

Ima beat the ZK 3 weeks+ challenge by a looong ways haha
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Old 05-22-2019, 09:22 PM   #17
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Nice guitar playing and tone. Organ also.

Quote:
Originally Posted by morgon View Post
...I'm using 39/47 time sig on some of that...
I'm going to steal that idea.
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Old 05-30-2019, 10:23 PM   #18
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Thanks TL, I put the track back in the wip rotation, would have been easier to rehearse it a couple of times in the first place though, cheers.
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Old 06-03-2019, 12:31 PM   #19
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Sounds like you've got a start and with the adjustments others have noted should make for a better next version.
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Old 06-03-2019, 09:43 PM   #20
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I tould you It'd be at least three weeks lol.
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Old 06-04-2019, 12:56 PM   #21
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I'm thinking what everyone else has already said ... timing. The drums are just way off, but you can fix that with some better playing (or maybe some programming in EZDrummer).

But yeah, the song itself does remind me of those early Bowie blues-rockers. It's cool. Now just get a good, tight "band" to play it and you're good to go.
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Old 06-06-2019, 05:27 AM   #22
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I fixed the timing back when but didn't get around to reimporting the keyboard track and realigning it yet, I kinda got hooked into a bunch of other tracks in the rotation, some of which I'll post also, cheers.
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